[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Trevor,

I think the last line is not yet good enough. I don't know if something like this is better, but it seems closer to the having the punch I would like to see:

xxxxxthough, sometimes, I might admit
xxxxxto drumming up romance simply by effort.


All the best,
Jim

[Max Goodman]

I like this description of the heart: a pulsing fist of muscle,/enticing blood from lungs,/gifting [is that the right verb?] nutrients to nerve and bone,/
brain and liver.

What's the benefit of writing this first-person from the heart's pov? It feels as though the poem replaces one fallacious way of thinking about the heart with another. That can be fruitful if it is intentional, but if the poem is doing something with that tension, I'm missing it.

FWIW.