[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Trev—

Thanks for taking the time to give such a detailed and thoughtful analysis and critique of my poem. I used two of your suggestions to improve it.

First, I agree that S2L6 was weak and rhyme-driven. I replaced “I’d put them behind a wall” with “I’d overlooked them all,” which works much better logically and metrically.

Second, I liked the idea of suggesting a happier ending by changing “and set herself free” to “and set us both free” in the last line. The N would not have seen it as being for the best before the breakup, but now begins to realize that he is better off.

I appreciate your help.

Glenn