[John Whitworth]

The first stanza is by Boris Johnson and is to be found in the article about him in The Wall Street Journal. He is referring to Gordon Brown.
The lineation and continuation is my own, referring (rather obviously) to a. a woman and b. a dog. Sphereans are encouraged to contribute. You have to stick to the metre obviously.

Bring it on
You great big quivering
Invertebrate gelatinous
Jelly of indecision.
Bring it on.

Cuddle up
You sweet soft murmuring
Congenial desirable
Paragon of perfection
Cuddle up

Put it down
You goddammed blithering
Detestable maleficent
Hellhound of Pandemonium
Put it down