[Graham King]

Fetid Odour or Picking up the Local Atmosphere

In the village there’s a smellage:
There’s a spillage, I can tellage,
Of some sewage or some silage;
It’s been phewage for a whileage:
Whiff, I allege, of rank spoilage -
Will some swillage cleanse this soilage?
Who will rummage through the message?
Will a scrummage make it lessage -
Many willage hands make lightage
Pong that our village has blightage?
But untillage it’s rinsed clearage
I’m unwillage to go nearage!


(OK... 'scraping the bottom of the barrel'.)

[Douglas G. Brown]

The seaweed called fucus
Rhymes only with mucous;
You'll set off a ruckus
Pronouncing it fuckus.

[John Whitworth]

Substantive Modifications

My love is pulchritudinous, proportionate and glamorous.
She’s captivating, fascinating, feminine and amorous.
She’s scintillating, titillating, precious, paradisical,
Luxurious, voluptuous, delectable and physical.

She’s charming, cosmopolitan, sophisticated, thoroughbred
Splendiferous, magniloquent, illustrious and go-ahead.
She’s entertaining, debonair, delightful, indispensable,
Judicious, level-headed, sage, intelligent and sensible.

A loveless life is listless, luckless, feckless, sick and festering,
Malodorous, morbiferous, mephitical and westering,
Dysfunctional, detestable, destructive, deleterious,
Inadequate, impractical, unworthy and unserious.

All poets of a principled and passionate sincerity
Find well-selected adjectives contribute to their verity.
Ingenious deployments are sublime and unforgettable.
A Hemingway of verse would be obnoxious and regrettable!

[Douglas G. Brown]

John,
Very good. It sounds like the style of W.S. Gilbert, with a touch of Cole Porter.

[Nigel Mace]

Far too good a tribute to W. S. G. to qualify as duff in any way, John! It's impossible to resist trying to sing it.