[Graham King]

"My Spider-sense is tingling..."

Oh... 'Remark overheaRd at a party.' (Sorry!)

[Roger Slater]

"Personally, I'm not worried about the host's condition since I'm already taking antibiotics."

"Grab a drink. The entertainment is about to begin. He's remarkably good for someone who only took up the bagpipes three months ago."

"Yes, Obama would love to have me dead. But there's no way his drones will ever find me here."

"I swear it wasn't me. I'm pretty sure it's coming from the hors oeuvres."

"No, I never use the safety. It could slow me down if I need to shoot someone."

[Jayne Osborn]

"Gosh, I'm so glad I whispered to you about my affair with Tony. That's his wife with her back to you."

"One of the guests has backed into the new XK8 on the drive; I'm not sure whose it is but let's just keep schtum about it."

"We've run out of toilet paper because everyone's had diarrhoea this week, but people probably won't need to use the loo..."

"I didn't notice the freezer had defrosted last week but the food should still be OK."

"Darling, why did we have to come? Everyone who's here is utterly loathsome!"

[Jayne Osborn]

"Actually, I'll admit we only had the party so that we can claim on the insurance for a new carpet. I'll be nudging someone who's holding a glass of red wine. Haha."

"Now that everyone's here we can start the karaoke."

"Ann Widdecombe will be here in a minute."

"The children are SO looking forward to singing to us."

"The Police have arrived. It's going to take several hours to question us all."

[John Whitworth]

I can't quite make an entry out of this, but many years go my sister's best friend had a party a few doors down. It really went with a swing and in the morning it turned out that someone had stolen the carpet in the living room. I mean the carpet that was on the floor, wall to bloody wall. Of course this was in Scotland, so that may explain it.

[Douglas G. Brown]

John,

Either "The Godfather" or the "The Godfather, Part 2" began with a carpet theft. Maybe Mario Puzo heard of that party?

[Adrian Fry]

I loathe parties, probably because my neighbour is always having them. And nothing is said at his parties - everything is shouted.

[Brian Allgar]

Originally Posted by Adrian Fry

I loathe parties, probably because my neighbour is always having them. And nothing is said at his parties - everything is shouted.

I know the kind of party, Adrian - they shoot their mouths, and I'm tempted to shoot them.

[Graham King]

“He's always been such a fan! Like his parents. The name, Anakin, of course, yes. He lives it, really. She said now he’s eighteen he’s thinking of having something done cosmetically.”