[Ann Drysdale]

Alas, Jerome, your doo is a bob.

[Jerome Betts]

Darn! Another syllable and we'd have been in last line of The Snark territory.

Eng-er-land swings like a pendulum bob
Police on push-bikes fail to do job . . . Er, no.

[Graham King]

Removed to avoid 'prior publication'

[Rob Stuart]

Let’s go to Blackpool beach this year and not the Côte d'Azur.
I’ve made a few enquiries and I've ordered a brochure.
They had these tremors caused by shifting continental plates,
And I’m intrigued to see the sort of damage that creates.

The town may yet endure another round of seismic knocks,
If only in the form of what are known as aftershocks,
And you and I will have our cameras ready. When the joint
Starts jumping once again we’ll both be there to coo and point.

We’d clap at cracks appearing in the busy promenades,
We’d savour an arcade collapsing like a house of cards,
We’d cheer to see the Tower buckle like tin foil, or if
They have cliffs there we’d chuckle as it tumbled off a cliff.

In terms of fun geology this country mostly sucks,
But Blackpool’s quakes may indicate our lithosphere’s in flux.
You never know, the day may come when British people thrill
To geysers in the Gorbals and volcanic vents in Rhyl.

[John Whitworth]

This thread, which initially seemed so unpromising, has prove a rich seam.

[Graham King]

Originally Posted by Rob Stuart

Let’s go to Blackpool beach this year and...
To geysers in the Gorbals and volcanic vents in Rhyl.

Wonderful, Rob, in form and content!
(Apologies to the geologically afflicted... but, sincerely regretted casualties apart, such scenes are awfully spectacular.)

[Brian Allgar]

xxxxxSeaside Earthquake

O Day of Wrath! The harsh, indiff’rent Fates
Decided, on a Whim, to set in Motion
The shifting of those vast Tectonic Plates
That lie far out beneath th’Atlantic Ocean.
The Titans clashed, each offering Resistance,
And Shockwaves spread across the Ocean Floor.
At last, though dissipated by the Distance,
A Tremor reached the quiet English Shore.
Almost inaudible, the Earthquake rumbled;
It barely registered upon the Scale,
Yet massive Ramparts fell, and Towers crumbled,
A Sight to cause the strongest Heart to quail:
The Daemon, ripping through the golden Strand,
Demolished ev’ry Castle in the Sand.

[Lance Levens]

If You Can't Come Around, at Least Please Telephone

In the past when he's been sighted with his blacked out hips a-shakin,'
the worst has been a bridge that budged, the screech of cars a 'brakin',
but now he's twitched the turf to twain, the very coast is quakin'.

We warned him that a Jailhouse Rock when belted from below
would rip terrestrial moorings out and cause the lid to blow,
but the King has got this crazy itch he's got to scratch and so:

He cranked the amps and ramped the shank,the strings began to wail.
He didn't give a rip about the funky sonic gale.
The blue suede night shade and the love me tender kale

were itching like the fuzzy tree and swaying to the beat.
Our tongues were tied, our cups were buttered, we were feeling heat
cause we heard the seismic rumble from the heart of Lonely Street.

The street cars cart wheeled, all the seas gang dry,
The birds in Blackpool kissed their palms as he wiggled highty-high:
Don't want no other love, girls, I'm singing good-good-bye.