[Roger Slater]

MARRIAGE
Philip Larkin

'My wife and I -- we're pals. Marriage is fun.'
Yes: two can live as stupidly as one.

[Gail White]

A gem by X.J. Kennedy:

ARS POETICA

The goose that laid the golden egg
Died looking up its crotch
To find out how its sphincter worked.
Would you lay well? Don't watch.

[Andrew Frisardi]

That one is laugh-out-loud funny, Gail. Here's another X. J. Kennedy epigram:

A Brat's Reward

At the market Philbert Spicer
Peered into the bacon slicer—
Whiz! the wicked slicer sped
Back and forth across his head
Quickly shaving—what a shock!—
Fifty chips off Phil's old block,
Stopping just above the eyebrows.
Phil's not one of them thar highbrows.

[Erik Olson]

EPITAPH
Intended for Dryden's Wife

Here lies my wife! here let her lie!
Now she's at rest, and so am I.


-Dryden

[Julie Steiner]

Thanks for these. There are also some very good epigrams (among other excellent but non-epigrammatic poems) on this old thread, whose reacquaintance I was happy to make.

[Brian Watson]

Auden Shorts, brought to you by the Parisian Sock

[Andrew Frisardi]

University Curriculum

In this factory, here the axe-grinders
are whetted by degrees,
there are courses in log-rolling
and a shortage of trees.

--William Price Turner

[Gail White]

TURBULENCE

Clouds are pretty up above,
But shitty in the middle of.
Julie Kane




(If Julie really loved me, she would insert my "Louisiana Politics" on this thread.)

[Julie Steiner]

Julie Kane isn't the only Julie who loves you, Gail, so I'll post this one:


On Politicians

The politician,
like the tabby's young,
attempts to clean his backside
with his tongue.

--Gail White


* * *

Edited to say: That's how it is in my copy of The Accidental Cynic, but I do like the version you're referencing even better.


On Louisiana Politics

The politician, like the tabby's young,
Attempts to clean his backside with his tongue.

[Erik Olson]

Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool;
But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.

-Alexander Pope