[Roger Slater]

A burger is naked without it,
a cracker is, too, and sliced ham,
and cutlets of eggplant, don't doubt it,
can't lack it. I'm certain. I am.

For what is the point of omitting
the crown from the king's royal head?
If you are the queen, it's unfitting
to doff your tiara. 'Nuff said.

So bring on the cheese. Don't begrudge it.
God in his heaven decrees it.
It's tasty, and fits any budget.
And dinner improves when you cheese it.

[Jayne Osborn]

Well done, Marion. But why not let the bride cut the cheese? Call me sexist, but farting brides may be even funnier than farting grooms.

Er... Marion and Bob, is 'cutting the cheese' really a euphemism for farting, in the US?
Oh, my husband just looked over my shoulder and said it is. (I'm too ladylike and sophisticated to know that. His words, the sarcastic bug*er )

...but in this case I agree that the bride should cut the cheese - it's funnier!

[Michael Cantor]

The odor
is not Japanese -
Limburger?

bright orange
quintessence of craft
mac and cheese

[Marion Shore]

Originally Posted by Jayne Osborn

Er... Marion and Bob, is 'cutting the cheese' really a euphemism for farting, in the US?
Oh, my husband just looked over my shoulder and said it is. (I'm too ladylike and sophisticated to know that. His words, the sarcastic bug*er )

...but in this case I agree that the bride should cut the cheese - it's funnier!

Funnier? Maybe. But not ladylike and sophisticated.

[Marion Shore]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

Rice
is nice
but Buddha
ate Gouda.

Bob, I think this stanza is by far the best, and the poem would benefit if you cut the rest. Not only would it stand alone as a neat little epigram, but it evokes Nash's "Candy is dandy..." no doubt intentional?

[Jayne Osborn]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater
Rice
is nice
but Buddha
ate Gouda.

Bob,
I can't quite see this working with Lucy, because in the UK 'Gouda' normally rhymes with 'chowder'. Are you seeing 'Buddha ate Gouda' like 'Boo-der ate 'Goo-der'?
Sorry for being a party-pooper - and I could be wrong anyway, but I thought I'd just point this out. To the average Brit this reads like 'Budder ate Gow-der', which doesn't rhyme at all.

[Roger Slater]

Thanks, Marion. I did mean to invoke Nash, and I did mean it to stand alone, but I figured it was too short to win so I padded out the concept. But now that Jayne weighs in with the British pronunciation (thanks, Jayne), I suppose it's a lost cause at the Speccie in any event.

[Marion Shore]

Ah well. Separated by a common language, once again...
But you can probably find a home for it this side of the pond.
(Lucy doesn't seem to like the short ones anyway, does she? Maybe she doesn't like paying £30 for 4 lines...)

[John Whitworth]

It's not the British pronunciation. It's the Dutch one, isn't it? Well, more or less. I think. Have we a Dutch person in the house?

[Marion Shore]

http://www.forvo.com/word/gouda#nl