[Roger Slater]

Dorothy Parker rewrites "To His Coy Mistress"

Maggots will eat you.
Coffins are small.
Death will defeat you;
It's foolish to stall!
We live, then it's over;
No kisses, no woo.
We'll fertilize clover.
So hurry, let's screw!

[John Whitworth]

Roger, get that IN!

[Brian Allgar]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

Roger, get that IN!

Funny, that's just what his erstwhile coy mistress ended up saying to Marvell.

[Jayne Osborn]

John Betjeman writes The Charge of the Light Brigade

It’s half a league on, it’s half a league on,
Thundering, blundering into the sun.
There are cannon to left of us, cannon to right,
Cannon in front of us – not a fair fight!

We rode to this valley, six hundred in all,
But Oh! it’s a certainty most men will fall.
“Forward the Light Brigade!” somebody shouted.
Importunate band! We are sure to be routed.

It isn’t our place to enquire of ‘them’, Why?
It’s theirs but to do and it’s ours but to die!
Noble six hundred! We’ll all soon be dead
from the ominous, ominous fighting ahead.

Oh! Who would have thought it, that some would survive?
The luckiest pluckiest few are alive.
What cheeriness, knowing my death’s been delayed,
And now I’ve resigned from the damned Light Brigade.

[Marion Shore]

The Raven rewritten by Robert Frost

What bird this is, I think I know,
it's black enough to be a crow,
with beady eye and pointed tail –
I think it is a raven though.

It flew in from the winter gale,
when I went out to get the mail,
and perched upon a Grecian bust
I picked up at a rummage sale.

"Tell me, bird," I said, "why must
you haunt my simple home? I trust
you could find churchyards by the score,
and Gothic manses full of dust –

Besides, you’re messing up the floor.
So kindly show yourself the door—"
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

[Janice D. Soderling]

Wonderful execution, Marion!

(Brian, I'm still laughing.)

[Brian Allgar]

Jayne,

An excellent left-and-right on the Masefield/Wilde. And I enjoyed Betjeman at the charge.

Marion,

Another fine piece.

[Jayne Osborn]

Thank you, Brian (and also John and Ann, from earlier).

This comp's fun; the possibilities are endless.

Nice one, Marion!

Jayne

[Mary Moore]

Jayne, I noticed above that you had offered two entries. Is more than one entry permitted? I ask because, at the moment I have two that I would consider submitting. Do I have to choose?
Mary

[John Whitworth]

More than one entry is always permitted. You cn use pseudonyms, after all. Though you have to make clear to Lucy who you really are or the cheque will be made out to the wrong person. If Jayne were to win twice, (and why should she not?) then she would have to introduce us to Janos R Boney.