[Frank Hubeny]

Originally posted by Anne Bryant-Hamon:
Frank,

I know you can find something besides 'linger' so as not to use it twice in such a short poem. I want L3 to be re-arranged thusly, "Although it IS ALL gone" rather than "it ALL IS". But that may not sound as natural to you as it does to me. Perhaps IT, is the problem, because ALL IS GONE sounds fine to me unless you put IT after ALL. Now I've twisted all our tongues!

On the 2nd Cinquain - I get it, but find it lacking in hope, which seems essential to life. Perhaps if you add a third, some hope will resurface.

Anne

Here you go, Anne! I was thinking of Eckhardt Tolle's book. I also saw "Kung Fu Panda" last weekend. The main master said something like this: "The past is history. The future is mystery, but Now is a gift. That's why they call it the present."


The past
Still lingers on
Although it is all gone
Except for thoughts that bounce it back
In me.

What will
Be, who can tell?
Some heaven or some hell?
Though more of what has been is all
I see.

But wait,
Right now I've got
A present. That's a lot,
Much better than those other times
Could be.

[Anne Bryant-Hamon]

Originally posted by Frank Hubeny:
The past
Still lingers on
Although it is all gone
Except for thoughts that bounce it back
In me.

What will
Be, who can tell?
Some heaven or some hell?
Though more of what has been is all
I see.

But wait,
Right now I've got
A present. That's a lot,
Much better than those other times
Could be.

Frank,

I think Ekhart Tolle would appreciate this triad of cinquains. BTW, have you heard the audio book, "The Power of Now", or did you only read the print version? If you've not heard the audio read by him, I'd love to send you a copy. Let me know in PM.

BTW, my email address is:
(anne hamon AT gmail DOT com) <--encrypted by me, obviously

Anne

[Frank Hubeny]

Originally posted by Anne Bryant-Hamon:

I think Ekhart Tolle would appreciate this triad of cinquains. BTW, have you heard the audio book, "The Power of Now", or did you only read the print version?

Hi Anne,

I only read the print version, but I bought a copy of "A New Earth" today, and so I will see if it all still makes sense. The audio version of his first book is in the local library, so it is readily available. I normally assume I can read faster, but in this case speed is not important.

Thanks for mentioning Tolle's writings.

How about another one of these cinquain's from you? I like the one about war that you posted:

Originally posted by Anne Bryant-Hamon:

I rack
my brain in vain
to find some good in war
only to conclude its just a
racket

One expects a rhyme at the end with the earlier rhymes, but one gets the association with "rack" rather than a rhyme on "war". That dissonance fits the subject well.

[Frank Hubeny]

Originally posted by Janice D. Soderling:

The rubliw is a form invented by Richard Wilbur, called the Epistle and he exemplifies it thus :

Rubliw for Dana Gioia

Dear Dan-
a, in the main,
A rubliw is a skein
Of monorhymes making a chain
To this point that's formally a cinquain,
But then the lines, like a train
Losing cars, refrain
And start to wane
Again.

(My italics and boldfacing.) The form is all messed up becaue I have forgotten how to insert white spaces to indent. But if you have the book (everybody reading this has the book!) you will see the correct indentation and also a diagram.

I don't have the book, but if it is just the white spaces I will guess how they look. Does it have to be a letter?

Here's an attempt. I introduced internal rhyme on the first foot since the monorhyme at the end seemed too strong.


Last Thoughts on Leaving Her Today

He'll go,
Then guys will flow
With hips that help lust grow.
The breeze beneath her skirt will blow.
With ease hands search on skin, above, below,
Since she's revealing what they'd know.
Soft lips move wet and slow,
And eyes will show
Love so.

[Anne Bryant-Hamon]

I rack
my brain in vain
to find some good in war
only to conclude its just a
racket

Frank wrote:
One expects a rhyme at the end with the earlier rhymes, but one gets the association with "rack" rather than a rhyme on "war". That dissonance fits the subject well.

Frank,

I was going for an allusion to "Iraq" when I opened with 'I rack'. I imagine people realized that.

I've not read "A New Earth" but will likely order it. To be honest, I'm struggling with some of the teachings in "The Power of Now" even though I think he says many things that are true. But he teaches somethings that I either can't understand or just can't accept because they conflict with my own understandings of the teachings of Jesus. But I don't let that worry me when I read someone. I eat the fish and spit out the bones (so to speak).

I had written a cinquain triad yesterday on an envelope that I'd planned on posting, but seem to have lost it. I hope someone around here did not inadvertently toss it out.

Anne

[Janice D. Soderling]

Frank, a rubliwh has to be a letter to someone. Like

Dear Frank
It's not a prank

(etc. etc.)

I mean, I just want to clarify what Mr. Turco said. You can break the rules all you like!

[Anne Bryant-Hamon]

Arch Angel

He's a
bottle of rage
spilling blood on each page.
People pass it off as they gauge
his age.

Not me.
Tantrums are twee
when you're seventy three?
I'll tell you, I quite disagree,
Oui! Oui!

[Frank Hubeny]

Anne,

I'm surprised I missed the reference to "Iraq". I pronounce it though with a softer "I".

I think what would bother a Christian about Tolle's perspective is that he does not claim Christ is the only way. But what he has to say makes sense. We need to pay attention, but how to do that?

That "Arch Angel" sounds like a pain in the rear. I have a few in my family as well. Such people I suspect were unintentionally abused as children, sometimes with good intentions by their parents. "Addicted to Unhappiness" (Pieper and Pieper) seems to describe the problem best. There's not much one can do about it.


Janice,

It has to (should) be a letter?

Here's a fresh start, but no where near done.


Dear Frank,
Your poem stank.
You know it's not a prank
One day though you may need to thank
Me ...yadda yadda

[Janice D. Soderling]

Yes, Mr Turco says it has to be an espistle, rather Mr. Wilbur says so, he invented it, (it is his name backward, as I am sure you have figured out.)

Thanks for a good laugh, Frank.

[Anne Bryant-Hamon]

To Bray or Not to Bray

The power
of death and life
is in the tongues of men.
Fittingly shaped like an arrow
or flame.

The words
I choose to say
are getting in the way
of what is in my heart of hearts
these days.

The words
I do not say
may be the thing that saves
the spreading through the world, more pain.
Good day.