[John Whitworth]

Alas, poems are barred this week. Could a press release be in verse? Congratulations to Gail White who was in the money in the Empty Plinth competition. I thought her verse was excellent and so did Lucy.

Competition No 2614: Literary landscapes
You are invited to provide a press release by the tourist board of one of the following fictional holiday destinations: Lilliput; Wonderland; Oceania; Huxley’s Brave New World (150 words maximum). Entries to Competition 2614 by midday on 16 September or email lucy@spectator.co.uk.

[Janet Kenny]

Congratulations Gail. I smiled too.
Janet

[FOsen]

Covered in glory, Gail.

Frank

[Marion Shore]

Come to Wonderland -- the resort and theme park of your dreams! Thrill to the gravity-defying Rabbit Hole, or explore the mysterious Hall of Doors. Swim in the saltwater pool, or relax among the freshly-painted roses in the Queen of Hearts garden. Feeling adventurous? Grab a flamingo and play a game of croquet you’ll never forget! Hungry? “The Caterpillar’s Mushroom” features everything from mock-turtle soup to nuts – not to mention the chef’s special “mushroom du jour”. For informal dining, it’s always tea-time at the “Mad-Hatter’s Tea Party”. Don't miss our nightly floorshows, featuring such performers as the amazing disappearing Cheshire Cat, and, fresh from their run at Lookinglassland, the acclaimed comedy team of Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Parents—need a break from the kiddies? Drop them off at the Duchess Daycare. So what are you waiting for? Come to Wonderland for a vacation so wonderful, you’ll swear it’s only a dream!

[Gail White]

Just as I was feeling neglected, thinking nobody had noticed my little moment of victory, I see that it was covered here yesterday!

Thanks, all. John, I hope you're still in the moneychanging business.

[John Whitworth]

I'm beavering away, Gail. Beavering away.

[Gail White]

Here's another effort:

Long off limits to tourists, Liliput has now become your
dream vacation spot, thanks to special deals with Downsize
Airlines and Microtel.
You'll love our miniature kingdom, where nothing is mechanical
and everything is ALIVE.
Applaud a Shakespeare performance by our professional actors,
none over 6 inches tall!
Explore the royal palace and gardens with a magnifying glass!
Enjoy our newest theme park – Noah's ark with 400 animals you have to see to believe!
Be charmed by the sweet tiny sound of the Liliput Cathedral choir!
Enjoy our fabulous restaurants. You won't gain an ounce!

PS: For legal reasons, please keep off the grass at all times and DO NOT STEP ON THE SHEEP.

[Susan McLean]

Poem removed so that I could submit it to a journal.

[John Whitworth]

Susan, you've managed what I didn't think could be done.Congratulations!

[Gail White]

Yes, Susan's "Tour" is a tour-de-force. Brilliant!