[Maryann Corbett]

Not long ago I had reason to think, for purposes of critique, about rhyme words, about the way we choose them, and about why they work and why they sometimes don't. Once I started, I kept mulling.

I've come to rhyming very late and somewhat warily. I still get nervous about being cornered by rhyme into saying something I don't mean (though less so than two years ago when all I'd write was blank verse!). I haven't developed useful techniques like keeping lists of great rhymes I stumble on, and I'm probably less conscious than I should be of avoiding tired pairings.

So let's talk about rhymes. What's your all-time favorite great rhyme? Who's your favorite poet, or songwriter, where striking rhyming is concerned? What do you keep an eye out for in your choices of rhymes?

Let's have fun with this.

Maryann

[Patricia A. Marsh]

For an example of some masterful rhyming, see the following URL where you'll find the 1936 (final) version of Robert Frost's <u>Design</u> as well as the same poem in a 1912 version, <u>In White</u>:

http://www.starve.org/teaching/intro...y/design2.html


Talk about challenges and work being play for mortal stakes! Notice how Frost succeeded in using four out of the five words** with -oth rhymes that had possibilities for use in his poem.

And . . . he made it look so effortless!

______________
**The fifth possible -oth rhyme: troth.

[annie nance]

Hi Patricia,
Might as well go ahead and post Frost's poem here, eh?

Design (1936)

I found a dimpled spider, fat and white,
On a white heal-all, holding up a moth
Like a white piece of rigid satin cloth—
Assorted characters of death and blight
Mixed ready to begin the morning right,
Like the ingredients of a witches' broth—
A snow-drop spider, a flower like a froth,
And dead wings carried like a paper kite.

What had that flower to do with being white,
The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?
What brought the kindred spider to that height,
Then steered the white moth thither in the night?
What but design of darkness to appall?—
If design govern in a thing so small.

The three rhyming sounds he uses,
-oth, -ight, and -all
all sound soooo ..... ooooh and ahhhhhh.... I dunno how else to say it... delicate, maybe? Like a soft landing at the end of each line. Anyway perfectly suited for the content of this poem.

Here's one of my favorites, an old standby, but the soft sounding rhymes are here also:

There's a certain Slant of light (258)
by Emily Dickinson

There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons –
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes –

Heavenly Hurt, it gives us –
We can find no scar,
But internal difference,
Where the Meanings, are –

None may teach it – Any –
'Tis the Seal Despair –
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air –

When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –

annie

[Patricia A. Marsh]

Originally posted by annie nance:
Hi Patricia,
Might as well go ahead and post Frost's poem here, eh?

Thanks for posting the 1936 version, annie. You've made it easier for me to just go ahead and sorta interline the 1912 version.

Also: I, too, like Miss Emily's #258 . . . though, if she were posting it here for comment, I'd overlook her use of that breath/death rhyme but be tempted to tell here that, IMO, she said all that needed saying in her first and last quatrains.

All best--
Patricia

In White (1912)
Design (1936)

A dented spider like a snow drop white
I found a dimpled spider, fat and white,

On a white heal-all, holding up a moth
On a white heal-all, holding up a moth

Like a white piece of lifeless satin cloth--
Like a white piece of rigid satin cloth—

Saw ever curious eye so strange a sight?
Assorted characters of death and blight

Portent in little, assorted death and blight
Mixed ready to begin the morning right,

Like the ingredients of a witches' broth?--
Like the ingredients of a witches' broth—

The beady spider, the flower like a froth,
A snow-drop spider, a flower like a froth,

And the moth carried like a paper kite.
And dead wings carried like a paper kite.

What had that flower to do with being white,
What had that flower to do with being white,

The blue prunella every child's delight.
The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?

What brought the kindred spider to that height?
What brought the kindred spider to that height,

(Make no thesis of the miller's plight.)
Then steered the white moth thither in the night?

What but design of darkness and of night?
What but design of darkness to appall?—

Design, design! Do I use the word aright?
If design govern in a thing so small.

[Roger Slater]

"Also: I, too, like Miss Emily's #258 . . . though, if she were posting it here for comment, I'd overlook her use of that breath/death rhyme but be tempted to tell here that, IMO, she said all that needed saying in her first and last quatrains. "

Ah, now I understand why she didn't look for comments very often.

[Patricia A. Marsh]

Originally posted by Roger Slater:
..........

Ah, now I understand why she didn't look for comments very often.

[Marybeth Rua-Larsen]

Hmmm.....Roger or Patricia....could you explain the objection (or possible objection) to E.D.'s breath/death rhyme? Is it the "r" in breath that makes them imperfect? I wouldn't have even questioned that one...thanks.

Marybeth

[Patricia A. Marsh]

Originally posted by Marybeth Rua-Larsen:
Hmmm.....Roger or Patricia....could you explain the objection (or possible objection) to E.D.'s breath/death rhyme? Is it the "r" in breath that makes them imperfect? I wouldn't have even questioned that one...thanks.

Marybeth

Marybeth--

No objection, Marybeth. Just a failed attempt at ticklin' a funny-bone, I suppose. Anyway . . .

Look for an olde Discerning Eye thread--Making Tired Rhymes Fresh Again--to see why I thought it humourous to mention the [uh] overused breath/death rhyme.

All best--
Patricia

[Marybeth Rua-Larsen]

Thanks, Patricia. I tend to think about sound first and not always about "freshness" when it comes to rhyme...but both are important. I'll check out that thread you reference.

Marybeth

[Maryann Corbett]

Marybeth, I think the only objection is that the breath/death combination is so often used. It's seen as too expected, like moon/June/spoon and love/dove. Somewhere there's probably an official list of Rhymes One Should Use Only With Caution, but I haven't found it.

I recall finding an old thread (either on Mastery or Discerning Eye) that discussed Larkin's pairing of "coastal shelf/ self" in "This Be the Verse." Some thought shelf/self was bad per se; others thought it was redeemed by the offbeat mental image of "It deepens like a coastal shelf." They made the point that even a tired rhyme can be used well.

It's the pairs one rarely sees that make one sit up and take delighted notice. For example, I laughed our loud at virus/Osiris in Quincy's recent poem.

Feminine rhymes, it seems, are always funnier. Ogden Nash puts us in stitches with his penchant for violating all the rules of meter and then ending in a multisyllable rhyme that yokes violently different ideas--like "interpolate them/purple ate them" in "Very Like a Whale."