[John Whitworth]

Competition No 115

Two Americans are reducing world literature to episodes of 140 characters (letters or numbers. It is to be called Twitterature, after the bafflingly popular social networking email thingy. Please encapsulate a well-kinown novel or play in not more than 140 characters. Do mention the name of it as well, as I might not know.

Entries to 'Competition No 115 by 28th August. email comps@theoldie.co.uk

I am going to recycle a couple of unsuccessful limericks for the 'Condensing Jane' competition in The Speccie some time ago. Here they are, both less than 140 characters if you don't count spaces, and I reckon you don't.

Pride and Prejudice

Poor Elizabeth Bennett, a honey
Who’s pretty and witty and sunny,
Quite fancies rich Darcy
Who acts a bit arsy.
She wins him and marries the money



Persuasion

Her dad is a terrible prick,
And her sisters both make you quite sick.
How we suffer for Anne
Who rejected her man
When she ought to have snapped him up quick.

[Roger Slater]

I'm not sure, but I think Twitter makes you count spaces.

PS--
I just copied each of your limericks into a Twitter box and confirmed that they both go over. Spaces count. "Persuasion" goes over even if spaces do not count.

PPS--
Your limericks remind me of the "fractured verse" limericks that appeared in Bumbershoot, i.e., limericks that condensed various famous poems. See http://www.umbrellajournal.com/summe.../contents.html

[John Whitworth]

Twitter does make you count spaces but I'm not sure the competition does. read the rubric. Perhaps I might ask.

[David Rosenthal]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

I'm not sure, but I think Twitter makes you count spaces.

PS--
I just copied each of your limericks into a Twitter box and confirmed that they both go over. Spaces count. "Persuasion" goes over even if spaces do not count.

PPS--
Your limericks remind me of the "fractured verse" limericks that appeared in Bumbershoot, i.e., limericks that condensed various famous poems. See http://www.umbrellajournal.com/summe.../contents.html

There was an old thread -- I think here in D&A -- with limericized great poems. Bob, you were one of the great champions. The Ozymandias one was brilliant, if I recall.

Edit: Found it: http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showth...ght=ozymandias

I hope I am not breaking any rules by doing this, but I just think it is a fine piece of work. From deep in the above-mentioned thread, Bob's Ozymandias limerick:

OZZIE REDUX

On a pedestal huge and Ionic
stood a emperor’s statue, iconic.
.....His carved words said “I’m
.....gonna last for all time,”
but the statue was broken. Ironic.

David R.

[David Rosenthal]

Sorry for another side trip, but the challenge reminds me of one of my favorite Monty Python sketches:

Summarize Proust Competition (content warning for rude language).

David R.

[John Whitworth]

You get a box, do you? Lead us all to this bloody box. Hrrumph! Hrrumph! What about this then?

In Search of Lost Time

Time Remembered. Had a ball.
Buggery and bugger all.
Tedium beyond belief
Anglicised by Scott Moncrieff.

And here's another. This could become seriuorsly addictive.

Aeneas leaves Troy, Dad on back.
Beds Dido in Carthage. Alack!
Betrays her. Makes Italy home.
Fights Turnus. Kills Turnus. Thus Rome.

[Marion Shore]

John, hope you don't mind, I tinkered with these:

Yours reads better. But I trimmed it down to a mere 143 characters. (without spaces)

Persuasion

Her dad--God, what a prick!
Her sisters both make you feel sick.
Alas for poor Anne
Who let go her man
When she should’ve snapped him up quick.


And, weighing in at exactly 145 words:


Pride and Prejudice

Elizabeth finds Mr. Darcy
acts more than a little bit arsy.
Despite what he seems
He’s the man of her dreams.
So they wed, thereby ending the farcy.

[John Whitworth]

Nice work, Marion. I had a little go at Liz Bennett myself.

Liz Bennett’s a honey
Who’s witty and sunny.
She fancies rich Darcy
Who acts a bit arsey
But Liz does the biz.
He is hers. She is his.

[Roger Slater]

Moby Dick

Call me Ish. Nov.soul, meet can'bal, shipout. Capt. obsessed w/wht/whle. Blubber, sperm,ambergris. Wht/whl! Big2do. All die. Not me.

[Marion Shore]

YH Ish, ROTDLMAO. TSB! do u no c-im?


A Christmas Carol

Three spirits haunt a miser,
And when our tale is done,
They've left him kinder, wiser.
God bless us everyone.