[basil ransome-davies]

I just can't help thinking of that drunken young golfer from Troon who assaulted a harmless baboon in an Ardrossan pub with a funny old club, quite obsolete now, called a spoon.

[Marion Shore]

Well, that was easy. verse/universe is out. I guess Descartes has the science thing covered. Besides, I like the fly.

Thanks!

Edited in:
But now the second part seems too short, don't you think? Aaach. Another sleepless night!

[Roger Slater]

Since you said you wanted to pick our minds, here's what my mind came up with:

Da Vinci burned the midnight oil,
as did the Bard, without whose toil
today we'd lack a ‘Mona Lisa',
a ‘Hamlet’ and a ‘Julius Caesar’.
Had Descartes not been wont to lie
awake, would he have watched that fly?
...All ye who vainly try to sleep,
if you'd just give up counting sheep
while tossing on those restless seas,
you might create a masterpiece:
an opera or philosophy--
but, failing that, just watch TV.

[Jayne Osborn]

Marion,

think of the operas, symphonies,
we’d lack if Mozart made more z’s.

Just a slight problem here, potentially, in that we pronounce 'z' as 'zed', so symphonies wouldn't rhyme the way it does with zees.

Lucy knows you're American and may not be bothered by this; I'm not particularly bothered - but then I'm not the judge so my opinion counts for zilch! Others may chip in and disagree with me but I just thought I'd point it out; it's your decision.

[Marion Shore]

Hmm, that's interesting Jayne. I never thought of that.

Do you Brits have the expression 'making z's'? But then, if you pronounced it 'making zeds' it wouldn't make sense, would it, because it's the 'zee' sound rather than the letter 'z' that matters here.

Lucy's allowed some of my Yankeeisms--though she does correct my spellings--so she might let this through. (Assuming she'd let it through anyway!)

Bob's shortened version might make this a moot point however.

[Jayne Osborn]

Hi Marion,

Zee makes much more sense than zed;
I wish that we said zee instead!
I'm knackered, so I'm off to bed.

(10.30pm here and I've had a hard day, with another busy one tomorrow.)
See you anon......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Jerome Betts]

Well, Jayne, can't agree about zee and zed. I think BE scores over AE here as it's too easy to confuse Z and C when there's only the voiced/unvoiced difference.

Marion, is 'zizz' ('a zizz' or 'to zizz') used in AE? In fact,I tried to sound the z's in yours as 'zizz' at first after reading 'symphonies' as 'symphoniz' before realising the rhyme with 'symphoneez'. Had it in an early version of my stab at the Insomnia piece, but changed. Likewise, is a 'a kip' or 'to kip' known in AE? I have this in the form 'kippers' in the version I posted.

[Martin Elster]

Marion,

Your poem is definitely a winner.

But in these lines

while tossing on those restless seas,
you might create a masterpiece

I don't hear "seas/masterpiece" rhyming. The first ends with "eez" and the second with "ees." It would be like trying to rhyme "spouses" with "houses." They don't.

Martin

[John Whitworth]

I think seas and masterpiece rhyme ENOUGH. In certain parts of Scotland, not polite parts I grant, spouses does indeed rhyme with houses. Bily Connolly would make them rhyme.

Bazza,

When I was young and went to pubs
I played at gowf with seven clubs.
I played on Sunday afternoon.
A cleek, a driver and a spoon,
An iron, a mashie and a putter,
A niblick too, the bread-and-butter
Club for gowfers in a fix.
I once went round in ninety-six.
The price was three-and-six a round.
Now it would cost me twenty pound.

[Marion Shore]

Originally Posted by Martin Elster

Marion,

Your poem is definitely a winner.

But in these lines

while tossing on those restless seas,
you might create a masterpiece

I don't hear "seas/masterpiece" rhyming. The first ends with "eez" and the second with "ees." It would be like trying to rhyme "spouses" with "houses." They don't.

Martin

Martin,
You don't know how I struggled to come up with the "seas/masterpiece" rhyme!! I'm going to go with John's assessment and hope Lucy agrees.

Jerome,
Aren't kippers a kind of fish?
Must confess total ignorance on 'kip' or 'to kip'.

Jayne,

How about a song that goes:

"You say zee,
and I say zed..."