[John Whitworth]

Yup! Bazza won big and Chris O'Carroll also. Martin Parker and Ann Drysdale nearly did it. Don't know about this one. needs some cogitation.


No. 2656: Language barrier
You are invited to submit a dialogue between two well-known figures from different centuries (please stipulate), each using the argot of the time (150 words max.). Entries should be submitted by email, where possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 14 July.

[Marion Shore]

Don't forget our own Julie Kane!

[Marion Shore]

Sheeez! this sounds like an addictive one. Especially for us nerds who are fluent in old and middle English.

[basil ransome-davies]

Different decades would be more manageable but Lucy seems to be in full-on BDSM mode. I'll likely settle for 20th & 21st centuries. Good luck to the Chaucerians.

[basil ransome-davies]

Coleridge & Dylan, 19th & 20th centuries

STC: In the life of the mind in general, and certainly in the composition of verse we should always consider the Imagination as a vital force, a matrix creatively moulding a torrent of associations into a higher unity. I propose to call this effect the Imagination's esemplastic role.

BD: Whatever turns you on, man. But you gotta go with the flow, ride the vibe, do your own thing in your own time. Just don't keep your eyes in your pocket. Hear what I'm saying?

STC: The Fancy, on the other hand, lacks the fully transformative power of the Imagination. Better to think of it as a rather inert and mechanical function, equally calling upon memory and experience yet limited in application, dealing only with fixities and definites. As for the conscious will –

BD: Like, far out. But hey man, you bogarting that joint? You're making me very paranoid.

[Roger Slater]

I don't know if this counts. I didn't write new things for them to say but used real quotes.

Mark Twain and Benny Hill:

MT: The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

BH: Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

MT: Humor cannot do credit to itself without a good background of gravity and of earnestness.

BH: I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

MT: English humor is hard to appreciate unless you are trained to it.

BH: Do unto others, then run.

MT: Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

[basil ransome-davies]

It's funny & pointed, Roger, & I think many of us will resort to quotation or light paraphrase (as I have done), but it doesn't quite read like a dialogue, i.e. what they say is sporadic rather than engaged.

[Roger Slater]

Thanks, Bazza. That makes sense. A very quick edit (I'll keep working) in response to your words:

Mark Twain and Benny Hill:

MT: The best advice I can give you, young man, is that the humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

BH: Okay, I think I get it. How about this? "Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."

MT: Clever, Benny. You do have a knack. But humor cannot do credit to itself without a good background of gravity and of earnestness.

BH: One thing I'm earnest about is half naked girls. I'm not against them, mind you - not as often as I'd like to be, if you know what I mean.

MT: I suppose English humor is hard to appreciate unless you are trained to it.

BH: What? You think that bit about painting a picket fence was funny? I like my humor biblical. Do unto others, then run.

MT: Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

[Don Jones]

*********************

[Jayne Osborn]

Gee, John, is 'Lanuage' Barrier a neologism; does it rhyme with 'sanwich'?

Sorry for being punctilious; it's a substitute for coming up with a brilliant idea for this comp, so far.