Kids, I can remember when every little tyke
was happy with a train set, a baby doll, a bike.
But these days it's an iPad, an X-Box, a PC.
My costs have risen off the charts. What do you want of me?
The elves are out on strike. Though I've done the best I can,
they're overworked and underpaid, and need a health care plan.
Besides, I'm no spring chicken. I'm nowhere near as spry
as I was at five hundred. So children, that is why
I'm planning to retire. I've had about enough.
“Hey!” I hear you crying out, “What about our stuff?”
Frankly, my dear kiddies, I just don't give a toss.
And so I'm off to Florida. Sincerely, Santa Claus.
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