[Max Goodman]

How do I lose thee? Let me count the ways
I have endeavored, each one come to naught.
I've let thou sit home lonely and have bought
Thou mops in place of chocolates and bouquets.
I've cursed and railed and rated, screamed and fought
And uttered not a single honest phrase
But when of thy appearance thou sought praise.
I spent an evening making sure thou caught
Me with that gentlewoman whom I brought
To thy apartments in her drawers and stays.
Then, all else failing, anxious and distraught,
Thy steadfast love inspiring deep malaise,
I set thy best apparel all ablaze.
Thou'ldst take the hint by now, I would have thought.

[Max Goodman]

Some say the world will end in five.
Some say in six.
Although I'd like to stay alive,
It's likely closer now to five.
Though if we find some handy tricks
To cut emissions sharply, say,
We might yet stretch it out to six,
But either way,
We're in a fix.

[Esther Murer]

Max, ROFL!

Esther

[Roger Slater]

Max, that's great! And I heartily approve your message (though I wish you could have given us at least eight or nine).

By chance, I had been working on my own "Fire and Ice" riff (not my first and not my last parody of arguably my favorite poem), though happily I ended up with a different misprint and no socially redeeming message:


Some say the world will end in mire,
Some say in muck.
Though far preferred to ice or fire
I'd have to be a big fat liar
To say the world becoming stuck
And bogging down in stinky dirt
Would not, to put it mildly, suck
As well as hurt
And be quite dire.

[Roger Slater]

1.

Noses are red,
Spirits are blue,
We're staying in bed
With a bad case of flu.

2.

Roses are fed
a chemical brew
but I prefer pasta,
and so do you.

3.

Moses, are red
graven images bad
or do only golden ones
make you so mad?

4.

Roses ate red,
and that's why their color
is vibrant instead
of something much duller.
.
.

[Max Goodman]

Nice ones, Bob.


I celebrate myself and ping myself
To see if I'm online so I can say
How glad I am to have me as a friend
And wish myself a very pleasant day.

I'll share a funny video of cats
(I love to get those!) or a link I've found.
The best, of course, are those I warn myself
I shouldn't click on with the boss around.

Despite the drawbacks of technology--
That it wastes time or grows to be a crutch--
I am reminded when I ping myself,
It's great for helping people stay in touch.


I'm uncomfortable with these tech words. Is "ping" current across the pond? (Is it current here in the States?)

[John Whitworth]

Nothing is so beautiful as pring.

Arms and the man I ping.

[FOsen]

I met a traveler from an antique band
who said, “I’m—aarrgghh—Keef Richards, Rolling Stone,”
and near this wraithlike geezer, on the sand,
half-sunk, a massive visage lay, with frown,
familiar lip, and leer of cold command.
“Oh, him, the monument,” exclaimed the codger,
“I wrote a book and said he was my mate,
and told the world he had a tiny todger
and how I boffed his chick. He's in a tiff,
that's all—I mean, it’s Life, at any rate.”
And then he played the most stupendous riff,
and I forgot to ask him why he’d stayed
or driven others from this petroglyph.
I knew he’d lived so long within its shade.

Frank

[Philip Quinlan]

Burnt-Out Norton

Tire present and tire past
Are both perhaps present in tire future,
And tire future contained in tire past.
But if all tires are eternally present
These tires are unrecyclable.

What might have been is loss of traction
Resulting, peradventure, in velocity—
Only in the wrong direction…

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

Wizard

A wizard ran out on a rock and looked up, listening
no doubt to directions from HQ.
And what a randy fellow! the right toss of a chin for you
and what a nose!

If men were as much men as wizards are wizards
they’d be worth cooking for.