[Chris O'Carroll]

When I read John's entry, I assumed that mine was a goner. Surely there wouldn't be two winners with that more-salvation-bound-than-thou attitude. And if there was to be just one, the obvious choice was the poem with the longer lines and juicy internal rhyming. There's a voluptuous aural pleasure there that's fun for its own sake, and even more fun for its contrast with the joyless life the poem describes. (Comparable to the contrast in Pirates of Penzance between the loud bombast of the "catlike tread" song and the lyrics about stealthy silence.) I trust those vouchers will buy some taste treats that Simeon Stylites would abominate.

The judge's "early death" quip is baffling. Maybe the point is that somebody who pees just once a week is courting death by renal failure?

In any event, congratulations all around.

[Roger Slater]

Chris, I think you figured out "early death" -- at least it's as plausible as any other explanation they can expect their readers to infer.

[Jerome Betts]

John, you posted the Staggers 'Asceticism' result on 26 February and it was Comp No 4165. 'Lonelyhearts' was Comp No 4166 and we haven't had the result yet, presumably due this week. However the tweaked book titles one which you referred to as 'Clever Staggers' seems to have the number 4167 and I haven't seen a result posted here, but would presume if the numbering is right it will be next week. However, you replied to Orwn's query about 'Clever Staggers' with something like 'nothing for any of us there' suggesting you had seen a result. Has the Staggers got the numbering wrong or something?

I ask because I received an email from 'Vicky' the the comps editor at the NS this afternoon asking for my address via a 'Reply' to my book titles entry of the 19th January. (Although my address was actually on the entry in the usual manner.)

[John Whitworth]

I see the Staggers occasionally and post things up when I do. The next challenge (the Bible one) is 4168. The next one to have a result will be 4166. I don't BUY the Staggers because I do not agree with its politics.

[Jerome Betts]

Thanks, John. Looks as though the NS numbering is OK. Bit confused by your reply to Orwn some time ago but may have misunderstood.

[Roger Slater]

Jerome, it looks like you're a winner in the book titles -- or else they wouldn't be asking for your address. I suppose there's still hope for the rest of us who included an address along with our submissions.

PS--
John, if that's the way you feel, you shouldn't enter the contests. After all, you are boosting their circulation every time readers come across one of your winning entries, so you are aiding the enemy just as surely as you would if you purchased copies yourself. (I have a vested interest, of course, in your sitting things out. Now if I could only convince Bazza and Bill).

[John Whitworth]

Roger, when I win £25 from the Staggers that's £25 less for the revolution because I gift it immediately to the forces of reaction (which is me). So it's a win-win for the good guys. I don't think there's a flaw in that.