[R. S. Gwynn]

Our relatives, we found it queer,
Now speak in tongues and roll around,
And so we liked the service here–
At least the liturgy was sound.

I used to come here as a lad
And found it boring, stilted, plain,
And now I find it's twice as bad.
I shan't coming here again.

I am a stranger passing through
And thought that I would wander in;
After a couple of hours with you
I find myself impelled to sin.

I knew that I had gone astray
And faint hope led me to your door.
If ever I feel the need to pray
I'll do it on my bedroom floor.