[Jayne Osborn]

Hi Susan,

This is a very poignant poem. Two small things: did you mean to alter the rhyme scheme in S3?
And her face framed with curls he said were red, but olive now confused me a bit. We might say 'olive skin' but it seems a little odd to me to describe hair as being that colour.

I think a bit of juggling with that stanza might help. Good luck with this