Misleading Advice
The first drink in a pub is on the house; toast the landlord by raising your glass with the traditional, 'Up yours!'
On exiting from a taxi it is polite to bargain with the driver about the fare.
Face-piercings on the young signify that they are sexually available.
Bus lanes are also for the use of foreign nationals and no parking fines apply to you. Tear up the tickets.
At a party say to your host, 'I am having a very gay time. I hope you are gay also.'
If your English friends are conservative, cry loudly and enthusiastically, 'Tories, come!'
If your English friends are socialist, remember to praise their great leader, Tony Blair.
You may be lucky enough to see fat men in town squares waving handkerchieves and hitting each other with sticks. This is called Boris Dancing in honour of the popular London Mayor.
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