[Roger Slater]

Many of you remember (and contributed to) an issue of Bumbershoot featuring "tailgaters," funny couplets combining a famous line of poetry with a comedic one. I suggested to the Washington Post that they use the concept for one of their weekly humor contests, and they have done so, giving a nice plug to Bumbershoot and using tailgaters by me and Frank Osen as examples of what they are looking for. Maybe some of you will send in some tailgaters to the Washington Post? They need to be unpublished. You can send in up to 25 of them, so get to work.

Here's the link.

[John Whitworth]

It is an ancient mariner,
A drunk, unshaven farriner.

[Brian Allgar]

*** deleted ***

[Brian Allgar]

*** deleted ***

[John Whitworth]

Oh that this too, too solid flesh would melt.
I wouldn't have to buy a longer belt.

[Brian Allgar]

She dwelt among the untrodden ways, beside the springs of Dove,
Accosting any gent who pays: "Fancy a quickie, Guv?"

(Iknow, I know, here and in the previous thingy I've squashed two of the original lines into one - so go ahead, disqualify me!)

Wow! I've just seen the prizes that the Washington Post are offering. They remind me of the old joke - "First prize: one week at Butlin's. Second prize: two weeks at Butlin's."

[Roger Slater]

Your prize is glory, Brian. To have your witty couplet printed on over 700,000 pieces of paper, not to mention viewed on the Post's website, is your reward.

I've inserted no-index tags now that I see people are posting their efforts here. But it couldn't be easier to submit by email, so I encourage you all to do so. They do ask for real names, and the gag prizes are worth having so do submit your actual address.

[John Whitworth]

My love is like a red, red rose.
Those summer colds go to her nose.

[Brian Allgar]

Roger, what are "no-index tags"?

As to the prizes, I agree that competitions of this kind are far more about the glory, the fame, the kudos, the power, the ever-increasing possibility of one day marching into Poland.

This is equally true of the Spectator and New Statesman competitions, where the prize money wouldn't buy you a decent meal unless you were on a draconian diet.

But of course, money isn't everything. There's also ... I'll get back to you on that one.

[Gail White]

Where the bee sucks, there suck I.
I'm not a very macho guy.