[Jayne Osborn]

Humph!!! Not one of us with a win or even an hon mensh???? I don't believe it.

Who ARE these people who have taken our rightful places? (If any of them are pseudonyms for the "usual suspects" I shall... um... be very/ rather/ extremely a tad miffed!)

Not that I'm a bad loser or anything, but... Hon Menshes for "One with the Wind"? Come on - tut! - wasn't that just about THE most obvious one of all, and therefore best avoided in favour of something more inventive? As the footballers say, "We was robbed."

Jayne

[Brian Allgar]

Jayne, as I've just suggested to Chris, perhaps we should have sent in this one:

The War of the Words - an army of Eratosphere earthlings engaged in a life-or-death struggle with the New Statesman competition judge (suspected of being a Martian) over the vital question of what is, and what is not, funny.

[Bill Greenwell]

I feel a bit guilty! I hadn't expected the long summaries when I suggested the competition to the NS. Here were mine:

There's One Born Very Minute: Danny De Vito stars as the midget in a
maternity ward drama
The Silence of The Labs: a serial killer fails Chemistry GCSE
Goodbye Mr Hips: a house inspector goes on a crash diet and loses his
job
Of Ice And Men: romcom in igloo
A Hump at Oxford: Quasimodo gets a degree and has a one night stand
Platoo: a yodelling philosopher has to lead some troops out of a logical
impasse
Plp Fiction: carnage as the Labour Party comes to blows over its
Manifesto promises
Gags of New York: stand-up comedians slug it out in The Big Apple
There Will Be Bloo: disaster looms unless supplies of a lavatory cleaner arrive to clean out overflowing city sewers

I think there were enough good gags on Eratosphere to fill a book. Hmmm - just thinking aloud!

Bill

[Janice D. Soderling]

Yes, Bill, there should be a book created of these.

I am literally (well, figuratively anyway) ROTFLMAO.

[Brian Allgar]

Well, it just confirms what I said elsewhere, Bill - that everything posted here was funnier than the long-winded and positively creaking winners. (I particularly liked the ingenious 'One born very minute'.)

Can't you sue them for breach of promise or something?

[basil ransome-davies]

Bring M the Head of Alfredo Garcia.The Central American megalomaniac has not only devastated the global economy in his thirst for world domination but seduced and impregnated the head of MI6's daughter.As Bond heads for Mexico he needs no reminding that he is licensed to kill.
The Izard of Oz.Dorothée is a young orphan living with her uncle and aunt in a Pyrenean village.When her pet chamois Toutou playfully butts her aunt it is taken off to be destroyed, but escapes and rejoins her. Together, they embark on an adventurous journey to a new life in Australia.
ULU. Docudrama about the pressured lives of London University students as they face a massive onslaught of reading lists & essay deadlines.