[Chris O'Carroll]

No 4245
Set by Adair R Fyn
Paul Ryan, the Republican vice presidential candidate, cites the novelist Ayn Rand as a political influence. We want political manifestos inspired by other literary figures. Dickens, for instance, might inspire one promising: “Every boy must have more, the increased resourcing to be financed by unexpected fortunes from anonymous benefactors.”
Max 150 words by 27 September comp@newstatesman.co.uk

[John Whitworth]

How about a politician inspired by Philip Larkin who promised you less of everything, bad sex and increasing misery? There's a poem there.

[Roger Slater]

My credo is from Proust: "Go to sleep early, love your mother, and cherish your memories."

[Brian Allgar]

Oh, Gawd, yet another 'political manifesto' competition. I wish they'd give 'em a rest.

[John Whitworth]

You see! I'd vote for this guy.

The Larkin Manifesto

Elect me! I am Unsuccess.
Elect me! I will give you less.
The misery of Adam's curse
Will be immeasurably worse.

You would be foolish to suppose
That any measure I propose
To ameliorate your children's lot
Will come to pass, for it will not.

Our country's future is confusion.
All hopes of growth are an illusion.
Take courage! Drain the bitter cup.
I promise taxes will go up.

Elect me! I will bring you grief:
The withered rose, the shrivelled leaf,
The Torch of Freedom burnt to ash
And Britain sold for foreign cash.

[Siham Karami]

John,

Please publish this somewhere. I love it! Could he be the last (or first?) honest politician? A pleasure reading.

Siham

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Shiram. Well of course I seek to win the wicked Leftists' gold here, but I think I might try elsewhere should that plan come, Larkinlike, to non-fruition.

[Adrian Fry]

Larkin's wonderful poem 'Going, Going' is worth checking out; it is almost a political manifesto in itself.

[Pedro Poitevin]

Oh, I'm a fan of the Larkin Manifesto!

Pedro.

[Lance Levens]

Nominally literary: Woody Allen.


Out of the Great Nothing the kids get a third.
No, on second thought, we need more absurd--
I'll give the kids a third of nothing.
No, Kafka says: turn them into bugs,
chase them under the rugs,

then give them a third of nothing.
No, it's still not right. Beckett would say
(from a trashcan) "Kids want money?"
When Godot comes they'll GIVE money away.
(So the kids get a pathetic quasi-religious play?)

Not the kids of America!
Camus says give them a great stone.
Let'em push it up a hill, alone.
Let 'em suffer, a lamb to slaughter,
make them perpetually atone.

Isn't there a gi-mongous income tax
we can rob. That would make the kids happy.
Well, life for kids is always crappy.
Does anybody have a xanax?