[Brian Allgar]

Nice one too, John.

No, I didn't know he had a degree. Was it a real one, or was it an honorary one in some suitable subject like Disinformation?

[John Whitworth]

It was in the 1950s so I take it it was real.

Here we go:

Murdoch graduated from Geelong Grammar, a prestigious Australian boarding school, in 1949 before crossing the ocean to attend Worcester College at Oxford University in England. According to one of his early biographers, Murdoch was a "a normal, red-blooded college student who had many friends, chased girls, went on the usual drinking binges, engaged in slapdash horseplay, tried at sports, and never had enough money, no doubt due to his gambling."

[Brian Allgar]

Pretty much like us, then. So how did he go so badly wrong?

[John Whitworth]

He didn't. The Digger rules OK. And the Sun also rises.

[Brian Allgar]

Yeah, tell that to the NoW hacking victims. And we know where the Digger thinks the Sun rises.

[Jerome Betts]

Reviewer, cruel critic of rhyme –
Eye of bat! Tongue of snake! Soul of slime! –
Make a magic confection
So my rival’s collection
Remains little read for all time!

Plunge your pen in a poisonous spring,
Tip your barbs with its vinegary sting,
Add some rotted bouquets
And a touch of faint praise,
Heads-I-win, tails-you-lose, sort of thing.

Sprinkle rancid aspersions and smears
Marinaded in bile stored for years,
Then serve piping hot
In one huge toxic shot
To ensure that it all ends in tears!

[Douglas G. Brown]

from Macflush, Act 4, Scene 1, by William Shakespeare
A suburban bathroom. On center stage, an overflowing Toilet. Gurgling sounds.
Enter the three Witches. (Played by the Three Stooges)

1 WITCH (CURLY). Thrice this bowl hath overflow'd.
2 WITCH (LARRY). Thrice and once, the housewife’s whin'd.
3 WITCH (MOE). Husband cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!

ALL. Bubble, bubble, toilet trouble?
Call the Stooges, on the double!

1 WITCH. When the ballcock ceases falling,
Guys like us, you should be calling …
2 WITCH. Eye of newt and oil of skank
Cure the sluggish septic tank.
3 WITCH (pulling a splinter from the seat) Splinters sticking from the seat
Make for comments indiscreet.
1 WITCH. Round about the toilet go;
In the john, the Drano throw.—
2 WITCH. I’ll insert a plumber’s snake;
Maybe it will drain this lake …
3 WITCH (interrupting) Watch that splash, for heaven’s sake!
(gives 2 Witch an eye-poke, and clobbers 1 Witch with a plunger)

[Ann Drysdale]

Douglas, I can hear that, see that - and dammit, I can smell it! My judgement may be skewed, though, by the fact that have a special relationship with septic tanks and so am aware that, like the best of comedy, this has a wee nugget of truth in it.

Come to think, its probably a wee nugget of something else that blocking the bog - plunge on!

[basil ransome-davies]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

It was in the 1950s so I take it it was real.

Here we go:

Murdoch graduated from Geelong Grammar, a prestigious Australian boarding school, in 1949 before crossing the ocean to attend Worcester College at Oxford University in England. According to one of his early biographers, Murdoch was a "a normal, red-blooded college student who had many friends, chased girls, went on the usual drinking binges, engaged in slapdash horseplay, tried at sports, and never had enough money, no doubt due to his gambling."

A drunken priapic lout, then. That's no surprise.

[Brian Allgar]

Basil, I think you're being excessively kind. I would have added "spendthrift" and "wastrel".