[Jayne Osborn]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater
(I don't know if this rhyme will work outside of NY)

I thought I was dining on cattle,
But chewing became great battle.
I found out the truth
When I busted a tooth
On the stud of a fine English saddle.

Bob, isn't there an 'a' missing before 'great battle'?

Jayne

[Madeleine Begun Kane]

I'm new here, but I'm a limerick addict:

Dear restaurant, please don’t feel hurt
If I spurn you, including dessert.
I have very good grounds:
Word is making the rounds
That your food features soil — that’s the dirt.

A guy in the mood for a bite
Was upset — not one rest’rant in sight.
All he found was a deli
Whose odor was smelly.
Did he live through his meal there? Not quite.


My date dropped dessert on the dirt.
“Please don’t eat it,” I managed to blurt,
As he started to chew
On his now blackened goo,
Saying “5-second rule — it won’t hurt.”

A bathroom-bound man felt sub-par
After eating an energy bar.
He exclaimed, “Sticky wicket!
I’ve just eaten cricket!
Insect protein is going too far!”

[Jayne Osborn]

There's rather a paucity of girls on D & A, so welcome, Madeleine!

I'm not afraid to employ the 5-second rule (in my own kitchen, at least )

Jayne

[Paul Dickey]

Welcome, Madeleine, to this place
though we don't exist in time nor space,
but don’t I know you from another world
where political flags are unfurled
and we write for the human race?

[John Whitworth]

Yes, welcome Madeleine. I wish we could entice Fiona Pitt-Kethley (now in foreign parts). She was, and is, an ace with rhymes. Used to win these competitions too. She penned this gem. Do excuse the rudery.

Emily Bronte
Took her crayons by Conte
And drew pricks, cunts and balls
On the Parsonage walls.

Can someone else do the accents?

[Jayne Osborn]

Emily Brönte
Took her crayons by Conté
And drew pricks, cunts and balls
On the Parsonage walls.

There you go, John. (To do an é you press ctrl alt and e at the same time. I transported the ö from Word ('Insert' then 'symbol'; easy peasy!)

Jayne

[Douglas G. Brown]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

Douglas, you have one extra syllable in the second line of your limerick. To my ear at least.

John, you are right. I've just blasted the superfluous "can" into oblivion.

[Madeleine Begun Kane]

Jayne and John, thanks for the warm welcome!

Paul, it's good to see a familiar face. Okay, face is probably not the right word, but still...

Robert Schechter has spoken highly of your group on several occasions. I'm glad I finally stopped by.

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Jayne. I LOVE that Clerihew. The picture it conjures up!

[Jerome Betts]

On the other hand, if you can think of another word that rhymes with 'national' and 'rational' ... (BA)

Not really, Brian, but maybe you could change the venue?

With globalisation so thorough
Horse now tops the bill in my borough,
But I stifled a tear
As I though how, last year,
My 'prime Angus' romped home at the Curragh.

Yes, welcome, Madeleine. I'm surprised that one of our esteemed moderators has not expressed his pleasure on learning that cricketing expressions are now current among New Yorkers. Perhaps you've figuratively yorked him.