Excellent, Rob, both had me chuckling, especially the second one which brought to mind the heyday of The Two Ronnies - particularly, Mr Barker's delightfully dotty news items and 'public appeals on behalf of...' announcements.
“Dear PM, I must resign, as you are clearly accepting a double in my stead. I’ve just seen the fellow, debating in the House, on the pub plasma-screen tonight. The vivid image and sound enabled me to notice that not only does this namesake not sound much like me; also, I don’t have his exact complexion, nor own a shirt in that hue; so it can’t have been me!
I’m perfectly aware TV programs aren’t all ‘live’; so it’s not that ‘being in two places at once’ confused me. Earlier, I myself participated in a very similar debate, recorded. Probably this chap coached himself from it; he was nearly word-perfect. Anyway, such duplication won’t do: it wastes Parliamentary time, and my constituents deserve integrity: ‘Accept no substitute!’ I’ll resume my post only if this impostor apologises to my face and assures you, himself, that I alone am the genuine article.”
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