[Tim Murphy]

Cathy thanks for posting the Jim Merrill sonnet, certainly a great deal less traditional than mine.

[Siham Karami]

Well, I enjoyed this one for its simplicity with subtlety that gives a nice feel. Playing with the line lengths of a sonnet never seemed particularly subversive. In fact, I learned much from this particular sonnet about the power of the short, the simple, and the understated.

Siham

[dean peterson]

All these comments and the words of James Merrill and Tim notwithstanding, I think this thread is a good reminder for young writers to remember the value of perseverance, especially when the opening lines of even your more established poets can occasionally kind of work to cut them off ...

[R. Nemo Hill]

I think the unorthodox construction of the first two lines are what makes the poem work. It places the reader in a certain paradoxical relation to time, and lifts by means of that temporal riddle what might otherwise be too simple a poem. It is the hook that made me want to read further, the elliptical superimposition of boy-then and boy-now whose imperfect alignment is the key to the depth of the sonnet. For me a more straightforward opening would hollow-out the poem, diminishing it considerably.

Nemo

[Martin Rocek]

What Nemo just said. In fact, what he said earlier as well.

Martin

[dean peterson]

I hate to say it but I totally agree with you, Nemo and Martin, and yet I still want to see 'old man' in the place of 'boy' in that first line but I assure you, I could still be, even as late of this date, probably convinced of about anything.

[dean peterson]

I should have added that I'm old, adding to the riddle.

[R. Nemo Hill]

We've all aged considerably on this thread, Dean.

Nemo

[dean peterson]

Here, hear, young man.

[Andrew Sacks]

I was just kidding with all my comments regarding this "sonnet" being too unconventional in form. Below please find my late entry into the contest:

Fourteen
lines
is
good
enough.
Does
not matter
about anything
else.
In
fact,
why
not any
other
number--for example, 15?