[Graham King]

Originally Posted by Nigel Mace

Another excellent relief from all the rather sordid stuff this thread seemed set to wallow in - and rather unnecessarily I thought. Lovely punch lines.

Hear, hear!

Plumbing is a serious business, isn't it? Especially when it all goes wrong...
(I've been able to trim the original to these 16 lines simply by dropping half the verses. Hmm...)

A Plumber attended our Mains;
I wasn’t impressed by his manner:
He muttered of “gutters” and “drains”
While scratching his bum with a spanner;

“It’ll surely be quite a few bob –
I suspect there’s an underground leak.”
At last he got on with the job:
“It shouldn’t take more than a week.”

I couldn’t say his pace was brisk – he
Seemed able to while away hours
On tea-breaks and biscuits - and whisky!
(Cadged from a decanter of ours.)

But - at last! - we have water on tap.
Was his competence addled by Scotch,
This greedy, undexterous chap?
That’s one MAIN-MENDED SIN-OF-A-BOTCH!