[John Whitworth]

In My Humble Opinion. A vile phrase IMHO.

[Rob Stuart]

I don't know, you youngsters and your text-speak.

[Graham King]

I am 51.

There also exists* the acronym IMHOTEP (In My Humble Opinion, Though Expressed Pungently): for use when one wishes to be deferential, but also vehement. This acronym has a long history, pre-dating the Internet, mobile phones and computers; being found even on some ancient Egyptian monuments.

*[at least, it exists now].

[Rob Stuart]

[quote=Graham King;296173]I am 51.

I'm 40! But you're obviously younger at heart.

[Graham King]

Black as treacle
Dark and sticky
Traps your vehicle -
Thick and tricky!
Highly viscous
Drips per decade:
(‘Blink, you’ll miss us,
Be left dismayed.’)
At la Brea
Dire wolves caught it;
Couldn’t flee a-
Way - so bought it
(The farm, that is -
‘Rancho’, local)
No doubt, piteous-
Ly most vocal.
Yes, you’ve guessed it:
The substance which
Thusly messed it;
My name is PITCH.

[By way of explanation: an experiment has actually been running for decades to watch pitch drip. It has dripped and been caught doing so. A previous drip was missed when the experimenter left the room or monitoring equipment was off or somesuch.
Rancho la Brea is an American site near Los Angeles, where ancient tar-pits posing as harmless pools of water have lured to their doom thirsty herbivores (now extinct, though not solely for that reason) and (probably as a consequence seeing them trapped and looking like easy prey) numerous hungry carnivores, especially of the wonderfully-named species, the Dire Wolf.]

[Graham King]

Will church bells ring to celebrate
It as the nation’s gain?
(Found: new Poet Laureate!)
Or toll: a drain, a pain?

Boring stuff (Slough of Despond
To wade through) will he pen?
Or dainty ditties, of which they’ll be fond -
Ladies and gentlemen?

In frowzy city streets, ambitious clerks
Who yearn to park their own, new, sleek Lagonda;
The rural tennis-girls, in pressed white frocks -
Will they welcome the next appointee yonder?

This honour may seem venal, earthy -
It will be in all the daily news.
I doubt whether I’m really worthy -
But I also doubt I shall refuse.

(John Betjeman)

[Graham King]

It’s vacant, so in pensive mood
I ponder: could this post be mine?
T’would end the bliss of solitude,
And by applause my life define…

I wonder, lonely, as a crowd
Of other poets round me vies
To be appointed: quiet, loud;
Modest and proud; bold jesters, wise;

As brightly in the public eye
As daffodils that bloom may dance,
So poets laureate must try
To captivate the passing glance!

Still, if I’m not appointed, may
I here suggest (who could resist her?)
That Your Majesty would, pray,
Consider Dorothy - my sister?

(William Wordsworth)

[Graham King]

Crow I stand, black
on this tor (stack
of rugged books)
my perch of fame

my name gives pause
now noised abroad
not least by me
(I have clear cause)

winged words I wield;
scooping deft air,
pluck easy meat
from this opportune day

my steelbright eye
that pierces clouds of doubt
now sees my future sustenance laid out:
I think it’s a dead cert.

(Ted Hughes)