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  #11  
Unread 05-10-2014, 05:07 PM
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Maryann Corbett Maryann Corbett is offline
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I read the final couplet as hexameters, for what that's worth. A variation on the tradition of a final hexameter line in some forms.
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  #12  
Unread 05-10-2014, 05:39 PM
ross hamilton hill ross hamilton hill is offline
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he grits…….then the teeth are on the next line like they were false and fell out, no… it's too complicated, trying to do too much, and losing the melodic structure towards the end. It becomes comic she wait- ??? what, she is so fat she's used as ballast.

Last edited by ross hamilton hill; 05-10-2014 at 10:28 PM.
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  #13  
Unread 05-10-2014, 06:01 PM
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Cyn Neely Cyn Neely is offline
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I guess I like this one as a sonnet best so far. (but I enjoyed reading #2 more)

But surely this is not about a crash. It is about the foggy snow-blind mind of an old man in dementia that used to be a trucker.

If this was about a crash I would find it awful, but I like the turn at the end.

I am still waiting for a sonnet to knock my socks off though.
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  #14  
Unread 05-10-2014, 06:07 PM
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Janice D. Soderling Janice D. Soderling is offline
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I too read this as an old trucker who suffers from dementia.
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  #15  
Unread 05-10-2014, 06:40 PM
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Quincy Lehr Quincy Lehr is offline
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The problem with the title is, in part, that there's a far better-known piece that GOES LIKE THIS. Man, I love Sabbath!
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  #16  
Unread 05-10-2014, 07:39 PM
Brian Watson Brian Watson is offline
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"He drags his feet" is an unfortunate figure of speech.
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  #17  
Unread 05-10-2014, 08:02 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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I didn't take it as a figure of speech. I took it literally.
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  #18  
Unread 05-10-2014, 09:42 PM
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Mary Meriam Mary Meriam is offline
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I like the old man of the truck.
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  #19  
Unread 05-10-2014, 09:45 PM
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Eileen Cleary Eileen Cleary is offline
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I read this as a nursing home resident trying to get back home and confusing his wheelchair with a truck, perhaps having some hallucinations (deer.) That’s why the deer are gone as he approaches. He wants to go home to stay.

He has difficulty controlling his wheelchair outside and ultimately doesn’t get far.
They find him parked beside the door, and wheel him,
unwilling, to his room
.
He remains desperate to return to the wife of his reality.

Oh, and I thought that he dragged his feet because they weren't on the footrests of the wheelchair.

Last edited by Eileen Cleary; 05-10-2014 at 10:02 PM. Reason: add a thught about dragging his feet
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  #20  
Unread 05-10-2014, 10:19 PM
Martin Elster Martin Elster is offline
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I like this one the best so far.
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