[Nicholas Stone]

I'm in danger of losing my marbles.
My wife hasn't any to lose.
She sits up in bed and she garbles.
I'll buy her a new pair of shoes.

My wife has been mad for some years now,
Sedated on bath-salts and booze.
But they only worsen her fears now.
So I'll buy her a new pair of shoes.

There's something about them that calms her,
And lets her return to a snooze.
So I'll find the elixir that charms her:
I'll buy her a new pair of shoes.

She'll stop all the shouting and lowing
When she sees the new box; it imbues
Her with stillness. Now I'd best be going
To buy her a new pair of shoes.

[John Whitworth]

Great stuff. Nico.

Do you suppose Tessa has a sentimental streak?

New Shoes

I had a pair of ten bob boots
When I was but a lad.
They were the finest pair of boots
That I had ever had.

I wore them every day to school
And polished them with dubbin
And every day this was the way,
The rubbing , rubbing, rubbing..

These days I buy designer shoes
Near every other week.
They never need a polish and
They never, never squeak.

But oh that pair of ten bob boots
They meant much more to me.
For we were poor and happy then
In 1953.

Come on all you Oldies. Is ten bob right for a kid's boots in 1953? They could be second hand.

[Nicholas Stone]

No idea about the old money but it made me smile.

[Jayne Osborn]

Ten bob sounds feasible, John.

In my teens I always waited for the sales and bought two new pairs of shoes every January and July. They used to cost one pound, nine shillings and eleven pence a pair, or, more familiarly to us Oldies, £1 9s. 11d. Tuppence change from three quid, for two pairs!!! Ah, those were the days

Jayne

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Jayne.

[Matt Q]

New Shoes
(from the ancient Greek)

He said the boys were going for a sail.
Two decades later, turns up at the door.
In all that time he never calls. No mail.
Arrives with flowers. Wonders why I swore.

It turns out he’s been shacked up with Calypso,
turns out he’s been Circe’s “special friend”.
Oh he has class! A witch and then a nymph-o,
(translator: skipping words that might offend)

To think I stayed at home all pure and chaste,
repelling well-hung suitors every night.
So many bronze-skinned men all gone to waste.
I would have had them all, just out of spite.

I sold his treasures, booked myself a cruise.
Then packed my bags, went out and bought new shoes.


--
I don't think L8 works. It's out of keeping with the rest of the poem, I'm working on a fix. I'm a little unhappy/unsure regarding the tense of 'swore', I think it should be historic present, but maybe it does it work as past (I try to convince myself).

[Václav Pinkava]

The bureaucrats of tinkle-town
might well decree the time has come
when all newfangled prosody
must stick to metric feet
or best be shed;

after which we might surmise
that shod is what they really meant
but some old spiteful spellcheck sprite
had intervened to put the boot
in cobblers' hopes of better times
ahead.

[Graham King]

Originally Posted by Matt Q

New Shoes
I don't think L8 works. It's out of keeping with the rest of the poem, I'm working on a fix. I'm a little unhappy/unsure regarding the tense of 'swore', I think it should be historic present, but maybe it does it work as past (I try to convince myself).

All looks fine to me, Matt, just as it is. And a novel take on the theme!

[ross hamilton hill]

Just to agree with Jayne about the cost of shoes.

[Nigel Mace]

For the comp. its called New Shoes - but I'll keep it as SALE TIME.

NEW SHOES

“What am I bid?” the PM huckster cries,
as off-shore funds flit briefly ’cross the room,
from phantom figures flown from non-dom skies
to clutch at power, like some sweaty groom.
Here dressed-down wealth eschews black ties, champagne
and ball-gown glitz, as if the smart set’s suits
were camouflage enough to mask the pain,
lashings of cash exact from those, whose boots
these greedy bidders are not fit to loose.
And well-washed dosh, ’neath table tops, ashamed,
just like some stockinged toe, without excuse,
seeks members insufficiently defamed.
One scooped a May day, buying soles in town;
new shoes or old, it’s heels that grind us down.