[Brian Allgar]

Wolf, I’d love to gobble you,
To stuff you in my steaming pot,
Truss your legs and hobble you;
Just thinking of it makes me hot.

I’ll drench you in my vinaigrette
And singe your whiskers on my heat,
Then gently stir you, wolf, my pet;
You’ll find my recipe is sweet.

(Refrain)

Yes, my wolf, I’ll nibble you,
You’ll simmer till your eyes go glazy;
With spicy oil I’ll dribble you,
And you’ll be slowly driven crazy.

Like an orange, you’ll be peeled,
My little wolf, squeezed dry and grated.
But when I’ve drained your juicy yield,
Will I be completely sated?

(Refrain)

Your greying hair, the gold that’s mine,
Like sweet and sour will spicily entwine.

Your turn to dine on me until
You clasp your aching jaw.
But though you think you’ve had your fill,
My wolf, I’ll have you begging me for more.

Want to put me on your skewer,
Baste me with your special sauce?
Guess what - it’s me, the barbecuer;
You, my wolf, are just the course.

(Refrain)


[I think this can more or less be sung to the tune, but with quite a lot of ‘tweaks’ to the note values. Still, the original is also metrically pretty irregular, and lengthens or shortens notes as required. I couldn’t find the sheet music anywhere; it would have been a big help.

I’d have liked to provide a sung version, but the computer that I use for recording isn’t working at the moment.

The translation is reasonably close in places. Elsewhere, I’ve taken considerable liberties with the words, although I hope I’ve kept the rather ‘saucy’ spirit.]

[Brian Allgar]

I've now allowed myself to read the other versions. A fine (and fun) 'bake-off' indeed! But it's too early for me to say which one I think takes the biscuit. We'll all just have to stew in our own juices for a while.