[Brian Allgar]

I’d been married twenty years or so, and life was lacking spice
Till I got my best friend’s recipe, and followed his advice.

We were dancing in the kitchen, and my hands began to rove;
There was something spicy cooking, but not only on the stove.
As she nibbled on the starter (no, I don’t mean chicken wings),
I discarded all the dressing, and untied the apron-strings.
And to follow, a carpaccio of tender, well-oiled rump
While I let the main course simmer till the breasts were nicely plump.
Then the moment came to lay that scrumptious dish upon the table,
So I grabbed the bird, and spread the legs as fast as I was able.
(All was natural, organic, for we don’t believe in faking.)
A voracious appetite soon had us steaming, boiling, baking -
But I got a nasty shock as I was serving up the sauce;
My wife had come home early, and it ended in divorce.

Let me offer you this moral that will simplify your life:
If you’re dancing in the kitchen, just be sure it’s with your wife.