[Brian Allgar]

George W. Bush distanced himself from his father’s criticisms, calling Cheney and Rumsfeld assets to his administration.

Said Dubya, “Well, heck, I ain’t brainy;
I can’t tell a Kurd from Khameini.
But it’s easy to score,
Making money from war,
With advisers like Rumsfeld and Cheney.”

Ben Carson: “It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was the professionals that built the Titanic.”

Although it is true that old Noah,
An amateur builder, was slower
To finish his boat,
Yet the Ark stayed afloat -
The Designer could not have been pro-er.

National “Love Your Lawyer” Day

Sixty lawyers deep-sixed? Well, take heart;
The trial was state-of the-art.
“We find”, said the jury
With sorrow and fury,
“Too few, but at least it’s a start.”

Saxophone Day

The bimbo was learning the sax,
And her teacher had said “Just relax,
Purse your lips, and then blow”,
So she did it. “Like so?”
The lesson had gone off the tracks.

[Jerome Betts]

News Values

J. Corbyn's views? They’re for the birds!
Blah! Blah! What counts on page or screen
Is that he failed to mouth the words
When standing for God Save The Queen.

Now, in that grubby rag, The Sun,
The same game at the Cenotaph.
His bow this time, but too fine-spun−
Wow!−even for the Telegraph!

[RCL]

Is Ben Carson an Imposter?
Matt Bai, Yahoo News

Is Carson a signifyin’ trickster
a fraud whose fallacies trip off his tongue
while playin’ the dozens out among
the addled who can’t foresee disaster?

[RCL]

Head Lines

A ball bounced off my head when I was ten
and football helmets scrambled brains again
every fall for eight more playing years.
Some days, my words are tortured, rambling slurs,
but today I’m feeling proud as hell:
my brains are like a player’s in the NFL.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/...gt5?li=BBgzzfc

[Brian Allgar]

Some scholars believe that the “seventy-two virgins” that these barbarians believe await them in paradise should actually be “seventy-two white raisins.” I like to imagine the exchange when they get there:

“Right, here we are, in keen anticipation
Of our reward, six dozen virgin rapes.”
“I’m sorry, lads, there’s been a mistranslation,
But here’s the promised seventy-two white grapes.”

[RCL]

The Crux of Cruz

His mouth movin’
and brain snoozin’

Cruz’s taskin’
Prez and askin’

if Prez’s cruisin’
for a bruisin’

when accusin’
Cruz of sinnin'

by bullyin’
moms and kin

if Syrian
and not Christian.

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016...y-face-n465576

http://suindependent.com/cartoon-ted-cruz-debate-obama/

[Erik Olson]

Houston, Where's The Apollo 11 Tapes?

Most parents keep the tapes that catch their child
Take his first steps, yet NASA's lost, misfiled
Their first moonwalk—even those brains lost track!
Thus Man takes giant leaps, then stumbles back.


http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog...-footage-.html