[Brian Allgar]

The country was at war. The men had gone,
And farmers needed help producing food,
So city-dwelling girls were called upon
To 'do their bit'. Although the work was rude,
Ophelia volunteered to be a Land Girl,
Her first time in the English countryside.
The farmer greeted her: "My, you're a grand girl!
There's much to learn; my son will be your guide."

One day, she asked him: "What are 'country matters'?"
The farmer's son was happy to explain,
And soon her clothes (and virtue) lay in tatters.
Later, she told him: "Well, they can't complain;
I've learnt to feed the piglets in their pens,
Muck out the stables, dig for victory,
Collect the eggs each morning from the hens . . .
I've 'done my bit'." He grinned, for so had he.

[Nigel Mace]

Plainly Jayne's lonely lady and Brian's farmer's boy should meet. Which one of you is going to write the tale?

[Alan Rain]

How pc is The Oldie?

[Ann Drysdale]

Hard to say, Alan, without knowing what you want to send in. A good way of judging the tone would be to scroll down through this forum and look at all the "results" threads Jayne has posted. That will give you a "feel" for the sort of thing that goes down well.

[Jayne Osborn]

A great deal of so-called ''Political Correctness'' is absolute nonsense as far as I'm concerned, Alan.

I'd be inclined not to worry about it; ''go for it'' as The Oldie is not particularly PC. (You should see some of their cartoons for confirmation of that!!!)

But Annie's suggestion is a good one, as the judge is not actually on The Oldie staff. (Email your poem to me if you like and I'll give you my honest opinion.)

Jayne

[Roger Slater]

I'm curious, Jayne, what political correctness do you consider to be nonsense? Most of it makes perfect sense to me, and I generally find that the charge of "political correctness" is just the last resort of someone who can't think of another way to defend himself from the charge of being unkind or discriminatory. That's certainly the case in politics in the US today, where several of the Republican candidates on the far right complain that the problem with America today is political correctness. That's what Trump says when he defends his plan to bar all Muslims from entering the country.

[Alan Rain]

Thanks Ann and Jayne.
I'm warming already to the Oldie.

[Brian Allgar]

Bob, one example is the absurd requirement to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Happy Christmas" for fear of offending some poor little non-Christian. Well, I'm not a Christian, and for me, "Christmas" is and always will be the name of a particular holiday in the year. According to the PC brigade, that makes me politically incorrect.

I think that's the kind of thing that Jayne has in mind. There are plenty of similar inanities.

[Erik Olson]

Chemical fountains in the San Joaquin
sea-level valley ripen fields of citrus,
no sight of people, only where they've been,
Summer year round, sun fevered like a virus.
Groves only orange-rancher’s daughters crop
repeat for miles. In desert lacking rain
lies teeming fruit in silos for the shop,
drab process plants put beef in cellophane.
Driving through here, it seems the world outspreads
before you: orchards harvest apricots
or limes, fields grapes or grains in packing sheds.
Oil derricks drill bemired, near feeding lots.

k

[Martin Parker]

I was about to ask if there was likely to be some more, actual and relevant verse on this thread any time soon -- or at all.

Thank you, Erik, for coming to the rescue!