[RCL]

Thanks, Carl. “Medics” it is. I’m getting there.

Julie, that you love anything in one of mine is cause for glee! I’m on the mend.

N. Matheson, welcome to the ‘Sphere and thanks for finding the image works. I’m still tinkering with the meter, but since it’s without rhyme I can live with it. Breathing better.

Perry, welcome to you, as well. Thanks for reading and reminding me of the synaptic misfire with “human”. A few adjustments may better (or maybe not) isolate the part of this event that was primary and the apparent cause of heart failure: a blood clot exploded in my chest, causing suffocation (and, I fear, possible brain damage!).

[Alexandra Baez]

Ralph, I like the vigorous feel of this. It’s a wild metaphor you’ve concocted: instead of the phoenix immolating just itself, it takes down (and then up) the n with it! But I wouldn’t have gotten your intended meaning if I hadn’t read the comments. It’s just that odd.

Grammatically speaking, there should be a semicolon or period at the end of the first stanza. That comma there got me confused.

I’d love for the last line to really embody the dramatic shift of what it speaks—a complete release and rejuvenation. Even something like “Let our breaths once more take flight” would have a lighter, more refreshed sound, I feel, than your current line, which gets kind of tangled up in itself.

Well, thank goodness you have the phoenix’s power of rejuvenation, Ralph. I’m very sorry you had to go through this scary experience.