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Unread 10-05-2024, 03:50 PM
Paula Fernandez Paula Fernandez is offline
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Join Date: May 2024
Location: Wilmette, IL
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James--Thank you for your thoughtful reading. I have removed "carving" in last prose block at your suggestion. I think that's a big improvement. I have removed the second haiku which I agree was the weakest. I feel, however, that the title is pretty important to understanding the poem. The whole poem is basically my meditation on what feels like the extremely precarious state of the union in which we Americans currently find ourselves. On the one hand, we are still "coming together", helping each other with pictures, and looking for the beautiful potentials in our shared horizon. On the other hand, the vultures are circling and we are all getting in each others way trying to achieve our disparate aims.

Jim--Glad you enjoyed it and also struggled with it. It's definitely a poem about struggle! I made my only visit (with the family) to the GC this last spring break and found it overwhelming too. It made me feel extremely small and insignificant. One of those places custom made to give you an existential crisis.

Glenn--I took out the offending sentence and I think that improves it. Thank you, as always, for your generous reading.

I'm still noodling this one so really appreciate all the feedback and support. It's getting closer to my intention now.
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