Cally, Nick, Cameron, Jim and John -- thanks so much for your thoughtful comments on this piece. I'm heartened that each of you seemed to have strong reactions to this in one way or another, and very grateful you took the time to say so.
Cally -- I'm happy the linebreaks, especially, seem to be working for you, as they are in the fashion of a kind of bastardised terza rima -- a play with constriction, looseness and arbitrariness, and a nod to Dante. Voyeuristic is right -- and I hadn't really realised it until you pointed it out. Thank you for that and for your far-too-kind remarks on the poem.
Nick -- "The fellatio feels a little worn to me, but I guess you can't have a German nightclub without it?" Haha! I didn't know that it was a trope. I've been to many Berlin nightclubs both with and without fellatio. But I suppose the chance (risk?) of fellatio is never zero. It's nice to feel connected via UEA. In 2005/6 I was but a babe -- a first-year undergraduate who rarely did much besides read and write and occasionally show up at a lecture. I've just noticed it was 2006 when I made this account, somewhere on UEA wifi! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem, blowjobs notwithstanding.
The personal connections both you and Cameron mention make me feel we should be enjoying this chat in a busy student union bar, the soles of our shoes adhering to a beer-sticky floor.
Cam -- What are we to do with youth if not indulge in arrogance? More seriously, the questioning of whether that previous draft was poetry was a helpful one. I realised the dry tone made it seem somehow harsh, unfriendly, maybe a little judgmental, apathetic. Thank you for your kind words re this poem and that other one, and more generally. Perhaps we will meet at some poetry gig someday -- indeed I hope so. I am grateful to think that anything I might have said may have been instructive or helpful to you on your way. I'll ponder the underworld river here. Thanks again.
Jim -- I hope you won't mind my taking your strong reaction to this as a blessing. I'm aware of the feelings you mentioned, and the poem is doing its wrestling with them both on the page and inside me. "No love. No compassion. No connection. No cohesion." -- it'd be unfair of me to say that this is one's experience of Berlin. Many do find a freedom, even a kind of paradoxical connection, in that disconnection. But living there for a couple of years was quite enough for me, though I still visit the friends I have there when I can. But yes -- these are (and were, for me) good reasons to find the place upsetting, at least this particular aspect or microcosm of the city. Thank you very much for detailing your thoughts here, for reading, and for feeling through the poem.
John -- Thank you for your kind comment and for reading the piece.
Thank you again, all of you.
Last edited by James Midgley; 10-13-2024 at 07:25 AM.
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