Originally Posted by Carl Copeland
L2: I had trouble with several of the “pentameters,” but the first, in particular, I had to mentally rearrange to see if I could get the gist. To be fair, I don’t understand the crib either. She’ll hear rumors that he’s being lazy and delay her return for that reason?
I think it means that the N has been moping and staying home because his girlfriend is away. His friends are taking him to task for not participating in the social whirl. He tells them to blame Cynthia. I’ll try to make it clearer. Apparently their relationship is on hiatus and she may have defected to a distant rival (although this may just be the N’s suspicion.). Their relationship seems very similar to that of Catullus and Clodia/Lesbia. The identity of Cynthia is something of a mystery. Some sources suggest that she was a courtesan. Apuleius, almost 200 years after the fact, identified her as Hostia, a wealthy married woman who was notorious for her many affairs. Sound familiar? As a married woman, she probably had to accompany her husband on trips, or may have ducked down to Baiae for some fun in the sun. Interestingly, Propertius only mentions her lovers, never her husband..
L4: Do you want the flagrantly anachronistic “Ukraine”? I don’t think that term came into use till early modern times.
The Hypanis River is the Bug, which empties into the Black Sea near Odesa. I liked the precision of “Ukraine.” Other translators use either “Russian,” which is equally anachronistic, or “Sarmatian,” which sends the reader to google the ancient geography.
L5: The natural stressing would be “does NOT.” Luckily, you can get the stress on “does” by contracting it to “doesn’t.”
Good suggestion
L6: This pentameter is twisted out of shape too. It could mean he doesn’t hear her voice when she hugs him. Not very logical, I admit, but do you want the ambiguity?
I see your point. I’ll try to clarify this
L8: Another convoluted pentameter. Wouldn’t someone who had “the same skill” give similarly faithful love (as in the crib), rather than more faithful? “That I swore” is a confusing rhyme-driven addition.
I had hoped to suggest a hint of self-mockery with “skill” and “that I swore,” indicating, perhaps, that the N is proud of his lovemaking and regards it as more of a performance than a sincere expression of his passion. The caesura after “. . .had the same skill to give more” invites the reader to complete the line with “pleasure” or something similar. The restrained “faith” comes as a mildly humorous surprise. His willingness to consider switching mistresses in LL17-18 make the intensity of his faithfulness somewhat suspect.
L10: You need commas around “splitting us.” Done.
L11: This line is apparently close to the original, but strange nonetheless. I first thought the N was a girl, but this isn’t Sappho, so I guess not. Then I thought she’d been changed by her travels, so he doesn’t feel the same way about her any more. That doesn’t work well in context, so by process of elimination, I decided it must mean “I am no longer who I was (in her eyes).” BTW, this is the only hexameter line to end on a stress, and it’s followed by the only two hemistiches with “feminine” endings. Greek and presumably Latin elegiacs are riddled with irregularities, but I don’t think either of these is a permissible variation.
This puzzled me, too. I supposed that he meant that both he and his girlfriend will change during their time apart, putting the continuation of their affair at risk. I had already changed “girls” to “lasses.”
L14: The natural stressing is “seems VILE.” Fixed.
L16: I’d lowercase “Doubtlessly” and add a comma after it. Done.
L17: I don’t think “or, if” makes a grammatical connection here. The sentence comes out: “Happy is he who was able to weep … or [he may be happy?] if he can alter the heat of his passion.” I followed the punctuation in the Perseus Project text, which was, of course, added by an editor— in this case, Vincent Katz. In his English translation, he got rid of the parentheses and made two sentences out of LL15-18. I’ll revisit these.
L20: Natural stressing would be “was NUMber.” I fixed it, but I like it even less than what I had before.
I hope some of this is helpful. Thanks for another great lesson in Latin lit!
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Hybrid Mode
