[James Brancheau]

Thank you, Matt, for your detailed crit on what was confusing you and other matters. Yes, his own letters, love notes, etc. which I do think is clear enough later in the poem. And it wouldn't bother me if it comes as a bit of a surprise that the speaker is trying to read himself. However, what is making me pause is the lyrics part that you point out. Hmmm. I see how that might cause some confusion. I suppose it would translate into something like “squint to hear them as if they were the lyrics of the younger heart.” So you’re making me think that that was too big of a leap. I feel that I need to keep that gesture though, so I’ll keep thinking about how to work it out... I’ll also keep considering your thoughts re the enjambments, though probably I’ll keep the corners one. It’s a risk, I know, but sometimes you have stick your neck out. I’m glad you liked the hairband moment—I was actually a little worried about that one (but really, really wanted to keep it). And he can’t understand his own writing (or much of it): “I try, but can’t understand…my own hand.” I don’t view it as absolutely essential, but, ideally, I would like at least a tinge of regret to come through. I really appreciate your thoughts, Matt, and will return to them.