[Richard G]

Hi Trevor.

I prefer the version with lots of line breaks, so I comment on that if you don't mind.
Comment away.

put "when" at the beginning of the next line instead?
That was a consequence of where I'd set the margins, not a deliberate choice.

so I wonder if there's anything you could add after the current ending
I don't think so. It felt sufficiently final when I arrived there. But now you've planted the seed ...

Many thanks.

RG.