[Alex Pepple]

Hello, Glenn,

Thanks for the in-depth critique! You're right that the setting could be clearer. I was thinking of fluorescent lighting (which is gas-based), but I can see how "gaslight" strongly evokes a Victorian era and could suggest manipulation. So, it's now "lamplit," which works better for this era ... and even for the Victorian era!

As for the meter, there are a few lines that begin with a trochaic substitution, as you rightly scanned them--and that's intentional. But I appreciate your suggestions for strengthening the mechanical rhythm--I'll keep them in mind for now, and see how I feel eventually about undoing the substitutions. Your line revisions and suggestions are thoughtful.

I like that you picked up on the terza rima structure (although, it's just a modified/nonce form of it and not strictly terza rima!), evoking Dante—that hellish punishment!

Thanks again for your careful reading!

Cheers,
...Alex