[Hilary Biehl]

I like Alex's suggestion for the format.

[Alessio Boni]

Hello!

Although it took me a couple of readings to finally grasp the meaning of it, the concise, and exceedingly flirtatious tone of the poem, with a sort of romantic naivety suggested by the first character in their query, as well as the more dominant air of the response by the other lover sum up a dainty trinket of poetical love!

This kind of gives me the same 'vibes' as that anonymous and untitled Elizabethan epigram which starts off with, "My Love in her attire doth shew her wit," Although the topics are essentially different with the epigram being more erotic, they both hint at that amorous subtlety.

Good Job!

[Susan McLean]

Thanks for the additional suggestions.

Alex, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the dash, so I have tried removing it. I have also tried indenting the trimeter lines, and I think I like the look of that. It isn't quite the same as indenting the second speaker's lines, but it has a similar effect.

Hilary, it is good to hear that you like Alex's suggested format change.

Alessio, to me, the tone is more ironic than flirtatious. But different readers bring different assumptions to a poem, so they often get different things out of it. For instance, when I capitalized Love in L3, I was thinking about the abstract idea of love, but I realized that it could also be taken as addressing a lover.

Susan

[Julie Steiner]

I like the new indentations and extra vertical space. Much more graceful than the em dash.

[David Callin]

Annoyingly, I think I prefer the original lay-out, Susan. But I still like the content. Beautifully succinct.

Cheers

David