[Joe Crocker]

Hi David

There is a sense here, given away by the odd tone and anachronisms, that Judas is looking back from a contemporary perspective on a role he was obliged to play a long time ago.

The line that stuck out most for me was S6L3 “You try flouncing out in sandals”. Flouncing usually implies an overly-dramatic gesture and when used of a man has strong effeminate/camp connotations. So, given Julie’s comment that this was the Judas story from a Dan Brown viewpoint, I wondered if there was stuff about Judas that I didn’t know (not having read Brown). But I’m guessing that you are invoking an old thespian being interviewed about a famous scene he once played. I do though wonder why it is difficult to “flounce” in sandals. It would make more sense to me if Judas “stomped” or “stamped” out, as that might be trickier in sandals.

I did have a “Paris/in the/the spring” confusion between S8 and 9 ie it took me a couple of reads to see there were two consecutive “not”s.

I can see John’s point about cutting the last stanza but I think the last line is excellent, so I would keep it.

I really enjoyed the tone

Joe