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Unread 05-04-2025, 10:20 AM
Hilary Biehl Hilary Biehl is offline
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Hi David, the last stanza feels a little heavy-handed to me. I get the point you are driving home, but does it need to be driven quite so hard as it is in those last three lines? Maybe it does. Just letting you know how it feels to me.

As Julie already pointed out, Jesus didn't say "I am not worthy" or at least not in the Gospels. Putting those words into his mouth seems to me to be making a not insignificant theological statement, but maybe that's what you wanted?
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Unread 05-04-2025, 02:04 PM
David Callin David Callin is offline
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Thanks for your thought on the final stanza, Hilary. I'll think about it again.

And, as you say, I need to correct that little piece of soliloquy from the garden.

Paris in the Spring, Joe! I have never heard of that before (although I'm familiar with the phenomenon).

Cheers both

David
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