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Unread 05-26-2025, 11:58 AM
Glenn Wright Glenn Wright is offline
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Hi, Trev

My mother used to say, “Cooking is an art; baking is a science.” She was an excellent cook, but did not enjoy all the measuring, weighing, and precise timing that baking requires.

Your poem is a tribute to the simple pleasures, but it is light on imagery and heavy on explanation. If you focus on the imaginative images and trim the information that you can take for granted that the reader knows about the baking process, you might improve your poem.

My favorite lines are where you compare the swirl of dough to a galaxy, the handprints of the baker in the dough to fossil footprints, and the wave of butter that becomes an oily swamp.

My least favorite are stazas 2, 4, and 6 which are more expository than poetic.

Hope this is helpful.

Glenn
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Unread 05-27-2025, 01:47 AM
Trevor Conway Trevor Conway is offline
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Hi Glenn,

That is very helpful, indeed. Thanks very much for the feedback. I'll take it on board.

Trev
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