Hi Glenn, I know you're not fond of Plath, but I couldn't help thinking of her poem "Stillborn" (it's about poems, not babies). It's not one of my favorite Plath poems, but might be worth a look. One notable difference between her poem and yours is that she is frustrated with the poems themselves rather than with other people's responses to them.
I agree with Max that the most interesting part of this poem is the writer throwing his bleeding poems into the pond to sink or swim. That's a visceral image that a poem could be built around.
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