[Laura Heidy-Halberstein]

Ha!! Us girls can cook, too.

I just threw two salmon filets in the oven - sans everything but pepper.

I'll thow on some wild rice and make a package of StoveTop sage stuffing and Dan'll eat it without looking and the cats will cry and rub our legs and when we're done, I'll toss the paper plates in the garbage can and ta!da! it's FOOTBALL!!!

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Ha!! Us Girls Can Cook, Too.

two salmon filets in the oven
sans everything but pepper.
thow on some wild rice
a package of StoveTop
sage stuffing

the cats will cry and rub
our legs
when we're done
I'll toss the paper plates
ta!da!
it's FOOTBALL!!!

A little formatting, a little editing, tada!

It's Free Verse!

*grin*

Send it off - someone will publish it.... *wink*

[Michael Cantor]

Here's a salmon recipe I actually did publish - it was in Light Quarterly four or five years ago:

Preparing Gravlax

No need to spend a lot of time on frills.
The supermarket fish and Cuisinart
will do – grab all the stuff you need and start.
It doesn’t really matter if the dill’s
picked up some sand; just whirl it up with chunks
of sea salt, peppercorns and sugar; spread
the mix on slabs of salmon and imbed
it well: splash vodka, smartly smash two hunks
of fish together flesh to flesh, and bind
them tightly in Saran wrap. Then the trick
is let it fester three days with a brick
on top inside the fridge - and you will find
it satisfying, even though it’s light -
a little treat that’s simple, but has bite.


(Between the tuna sashimi and the gravlax, I seem to be on an uncooked fish binge. It's a matter of frugality. With the good scallops at $11.00 per pound or more, for example, experience shows that people will eat relatively less of that slightly icky ceviche that you made up by plopping the sliced scallops in lime juice for a few hours, and then adding the balance of the open jar of salsa that's been festering in the back of the fridge since Cinco de Mayo and the Plum Island Fajita Festival; and far more if you were to wrap the little buggers in good, pre-cooked bacon and grill or saute them.)




[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited September 07, 2008).]

[Roy Hamilton]

Well I left out the cream cheese and substituted a couple of spoonfuls of Miracle Whip. (light) I chopped up the avocado, nice and ripe, and doused it in lemon juice and rind. Then I threw the onion, mushroom, sausage sautee in the food processor and pulsed that up. Tied the whole thing up and put it in a fish basket that won't close because it's too big but it keeps it off the grill and will protect the skin. We'll soon see. I should be able to post a picture when I get some colour going.

[Brian Watson]

Roy,
sounds yummy, but how well does avacado cook? I know it can be heated, as in guacamole in grilled sandwiches or slices of it in miso soup.

Me, I like the Newfoundland delicacy of pan-fried cod with scruncheons (cubes of deep-fried lard).

[Gregory Dowling]

That's what I call useful poetry.

Has anyone ever done an anthology of cooking poems? There's a very fine one by Grevel Lindop entitled "Summer Pudding" and The Golden Gate has this good stanza on the pickling of olives:

The salt’s mixed as the water’s heated.
An egg’s released upon the brine.
It floats! The first stage is completed.
Phase two: In stratified design,
Bands of plump olives and thick slices
Of lemon, dusted well with spices,
Are laid inside each pickling jar.
Now into each packed reservoir
A sluice of cooling brine is pouring.
A seal of olive oil to spare
The olives from the ambient air –
And the jar’s set aside for storing.
The lid’s screwed tightly; sighs are heaved;
The label’s stuck: the task’s achieved.

[Roy Hamilton]

Brian, When I visited The Rock I was down on Water Street (is it?) for lunch and I asked the girl what was good today? "Try the special," she replied. Cod fish in a cream sauce with chives and crispy french fries. I'll never forget it!

Greg, That's good. We may be on to something here, speaking of bakeoffs!

[Michael Cantor]

Here's an appetizer:

You clean some brussels sprouts
and rub their little snouts
in kosher salt and olive oil.
Then bake at four-five-oh
for half an hour or so
and serve with goat cheese as a foil.

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Baked Salmon with Cream
a la tetrameter

Shove some parsley down its throat
and with the butter rub a coat
around a five pound fish.
Next, put it in a baking dish
and pour a cup of cream around
then bake ten minutes for each pound
about 350 Fahrenheit.
Peel and cube a cuke to bite
sized chunks, then go and juice a lime
and when the oven’s timer chimes
remove the salmon from the heat.
The juice and cukes you add toot suite,
baste well, remove the foil – STOP!
Reverse that or you’ll need a mop
- return it to the rack to bake
for 15 minutes, give or take
a minute. Skin the fish before
you serve it, take the sauce and pour
some over everybody’s serving.
Hot or cold this meal’s deserving
admiration for a spell.
Smaller cuts work just as well.

I forgot to add these little tricks
early on – around line six:
cover well with Reynold’s foil
then slide beneath the heating coil.



[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited September 07, 2008).]

[Laura Heidy-Halberstein]

Undomesticated Whine

Somehow The Lord forgot 'bout me
when passing out love's recipe.
It's made my girl-life living hell -
I've never learned to cook too well.

I've ridden Harleys, they're a breeze
compared to making Mac and Cheese.
I've learned to dress up so exotic -
My cupboard's bare, but it's erotic.

I've ruined cornflakes, spoiled milk.
There must be someone of my ilk
who'll love me for myself, by jove,
and not afix me to his stove.

If I should capture some man's heart
it wont be thru his belly-part.
He'll never want me for my roast -
or even for my melba toast.

I'll dish fishsticks with dance and song,
with apron, heels and black-lace thong,
My servitude will be divine -
he'll learn to take me out to dine.