[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

albert

The words "autumnal equinox" would work better in a haiku than "autumn leaves" for example.

'Autumnal equinox' works better than 'autumn leaves' in any poem, but not because the accents (not stresses) are less strong. They both have level 4 accents. 'Autumnal equinox' has a smoother rhythm because of the mid-level secondary accents; 'autumn leaves' jumps up and down from the bottom of the scale to the top, bumpily. Also, the primary accent for the former phrase is in the middle of the phrase, while in the othe it's more obvious a the end.

Stresses are variable and subject to the speaker's interpretation.

[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Huh?

I can think of dozens of uses for "autumn leaves." It's a pretty phrase with a clear image, and aside from cliche factor, works wonderfully. Put and article before it, it's a double iamb: "The autumn leaves/come falling down." Swap it into a line of dactyls for a spot of interest: "Rustling tumbling autumn leaves shivering." Make it part of an anapestic sub in a line of iambs: "Above the wall/the autumn leaves fall."

[albert geiser]

Kevin-

I agree with you.

I've changed my mind about autumnal equinox. Too cold a phrase, just a point on the calendar. Autumn leaves, because of the image, and regardless that the short syllables in autumnal equinox almost parallel Japanese, is better I think.


the autumn leaves
this equinox is freezing!
are yellow edged




[This message has been edited by albert geiser (edited April 12, 2005).]

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

I've ice-covered buds
this autumnal equinox -
I fear they'll Fall off.

*grin*



[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited April 15, 2005).]

[Yolanda Cruz]

Originally posted by Jerry Glenn Hartwig:
I've ice-covered buds
this autumnal equinox -
I fear they'll Fall off.

*grin*

Yo Jerry,

Bit of a typo on the first line. No biggy but..


Of ice covered buds
this autumnal equinox -
I fear they'll fall off.

I understand why you capitalized fall for emphasis back to the season but not capitalizing it makes it more subtle.

Know you did this for fun really. Remarking in the same way. Note the smilies.

Yep, yep...I agree with Albert. Saying autumnal equinox is cold. Autumn leaves better. Sounds more human. Better yet, an actual image of fall not yet done to death. Hard work to come up with fresh images.

Ok. My fun Haiku under 17 syllables:

Rustle of leaves
a rake left against a tree:
Steelers versus Jets

[albert geiser]

An American haiku:


the last ice filled Bud
an autumnal tailgate
I fear she'll fall down




[This message has been edited by albert geiser (edited April 17, 2005).]

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Yolanda

No typo there: I have ice-covered buds...

You know..those little hangy-down things????

Called a contraction *grin* (Pun intended)*

*My buds contract when they get cold - a contraction...



[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited April 20, 2005).]

[Yolanda Cruz]

Originally posted by Jerry Glenn Hartwig:
Yolanda

No typo there: I have ice-covered buds...

You know..those little hangy-down things????

Called a contraction *grin* (Pun intended)*

*My buds contract when they get cold - a contraction...

Oh you poor man. I hope you're seeing a doctor for that.

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

I did. He said a cure wasn't worth the effort...